Posts Tagged ‘religion’

05
Jun
2020

You fascinate me, but I’m just not like you are.

categories: personal; word count: 334 words

Reading other people’s religious conversion stories fascinate me, even though I know that I will never be one of them or write a story anything like theirs (unless you count taking the side step from atheism to atheistic satanism counts… I suppose to some people it might, even though there is the same basic foundation of a lack of belief in the supernatural, because all we do is consider Satan our role model). I suppose it’s because I absolutely know that I will never become like them or live my life like they live theirs, although I don’t mean to sound like I’m saying that in a holier than thou, “I’m better than you” way. It’s just that our lives are so markedly different from one another’s, and they always will be. I didn’t even intend to live that kind of life if I had married Bub’s father — I wasn’t going to adhere to any of the doctrine. I might have pretended to on the outside, at least to people that didn’t know that I had never believed in the existence of a higher power and never would. (And in case anyone asks: religion was actually not the primary thing that separated us, although it was one of the most major things. There was also the fact that once Bub was born, his father made it clear to everyone that he did not actually want to be a father. There was just sadly no denying that.)

I also find religious doctrine, and the rules of some of the “harder line” religions, a bit — or a lot — peculiar.

So many people are convinced that as I get older, “and I get closer to death”, I might recant, but I don’t see the need to change my mind on thoughts that I have had for nearly my entire life out of fear of the unknown.

As I like to tell these people, “if I am wrong, don’t you think baiting and switching will infuriate your God?”.

02
Jun
2020

This is me getting blocked by a state bishop.

categories: personal; word count: 251 words

I think it might have been around the part where I mentioned that I was happy and relieved not to have to attend Mass with my ex’s family any more (it’s been almost a full decade now), and that when his family was literally forcing me to attend church functions with them that I was literally telling him that I did not want to go to, I was bringing my PSP with me and playing it on silent in the arm of my sweater when I was not caring for our child, ignoring everything that was going on the entire time to the point that I had to Google what actually goes on in Mass a decade later. I was “immersed” in Catholicism. I went to Masses with his family and various church functions and get-togethers (that I did not want to attend either). It didn’t make me believe in God or “see” that his church was “the one true religion” in any way, shape or form. I felt apathy toward attending, was bored at the idea of it bar the fact that I played video games to relieve that boredom and tune out what was going on around me, and was incensed and irate that I had to attend these things that I saw no point in attending since I was never voluntarily converting or following the doctrine of.

And I was right. I never did convert, none of us did, and we’re still not following the doctrine today. So…

01
Jun
2020

It all seems to be a matter of control here…

categories: personal; word count: 389 words

It always seems to impress (Christian, religious) apologists whenever someone who was formerly atheist, or non-religious, converts to their religion, but it always seems to anger them, or incense them, when someone refuses “the call to conversion”, does not want to convert “in the face of evidence”, or turns from being someone that was particularly religious to someone that is no longer religious. I’ve become equal parts amused and worried by that as the years have gone on, although I would have to say that the “worried” part of it comes along more when it is men in positions of power exhibiting anger or feelings of incense or ire. It’s like their playbook, or rule book, doesn’t have a section in it for these kind of people — the “feel-good people” that “find God” or who “see the evidence before them”. And a lot of them actually say that “God has a plan for everyone,” and that “God will eventually call you to (church of their choice)”, so these are the very same kind of people who get angry when you continually reject their “call to conversion”, do not convert to the religion of their choice and… don’t come back to convert to their religion. They get even angrier when you speak out against it and do advocacy against the religion in question, or in my case, organized theistic religion as a whole. Maybe that’s why me finding Satanism when I did happened when it did. That’s not bad.

I can get behind the George Floyd protests, and even the riots, even though as a parent to two children who would be devastated if something happened to me I am neither actively protesting nor rioting (at least two people have actually lost eyes in these protests/riots alone, one being a journalist, and that’s frightening to simply type out… like, who thinks it’s a good idea to shoot someone’s eye out during one of these?!). I think I would make a good medic, though. Seriously. Police men need to stop killing black men. I hope to see these protests and these riots change the face of that, and for black men to stop dying at the hands of police men.

Especially in this country. Where it seems to be the only major problem, along with… oh, lack of gun control.

31
May
2020

I wonder how well that works out for these people.

categories: personal, RPGs; word count: 339 words

Well, I’m burning out on Animal Crossing in that I need to take a break from it. I expected that.

I am also laughing at the fact that I will soon have another screenshot of someone blocking me to add to my collection, because a state bishop actually blocked me after he started some shit on his Twitter page about how “Catholicism is the one true religion” (don’t these bishops all do this?) and I began talking in a reply thread with a fellow dissenter about how Bub’s father’s family literally made me attend Masses with them against my will — I’ve mentioned this here, though — and I began bringing my PSP with me to these Masses to play hidden on mute in the arm of my sweater, because as stated, I literally did not want to come to any of these church functions. I guess really religious people do not like to have it thrown in their face, even civilly, when aggressive evangelism results in adults being coerced, or forced, into doing things that they state to their then-significant others after the culmination of every one of these events that they do not want to do, or participate in, just to be told “my mother says that I have to pick you up and that you have to come to these”. I wonder how well that worked out for him — oh, wait. It didn’t. Not even remotely like you thought.

I love how these people can dish it but can’t take it… their apologetics game isn’t strong at all.

Do they think that “with enough exposure”, or “with enough immersion”, someone who has never believed in the existence of a supernatural who literally does not want to attend any of these events is suddenly going to go “oh, I see it now! You’ve been right all along” short of saying that out of coercion or fear and not authentically believing it? Well, that is not how this works. That is not how any of this works. I’m telling you.

28
May
2020

Nevertheless, she persisted. Literally, she did.

categories: personal; word count: 273 words

So last night I got to Zoom chat with some fellow Satanists, which was really nice!

We’re thinking of making it a somewhat regular thing, we just need to figure out when it works the best for almost everyone, get more people involved, and this really could be a thing that takes off for BaphoNet and The Satanic Temple. Here’s hoping, anyway! Also, Bub was in the shot for like half the time laying on my bed playing with his iPad, then having opinions at the camera, then walking around where people could see him… which, I mean, I didn’t mind. He saw the faces on the screen and also didn’t mind that. It was like peak socialization for him, the absolute perfect kind. He could walk away at will. This surprised me in a good way.

Also, getting more politically active on Twitter waiting for my Facebook post and comment block to expire (fun fact: a political entity can not block you, at least here in the United States, if you are their constituent and you can prove that… or they are breaking a law, so I’ve been having loads of fun on the state governor’s Twitter page) has been entertaining, to say the least. We’ve been having loads of citizens of this state protest about contact tracing in a way that has been reminiscent of sovereign citizenry, and many of them have begun to make it clear that their grasp on basic science is tenuous at best. But what do I expect here?

I didn’t know that the economy was worth sacrificing more human lives over. Maybe I was too optimistic.

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