Someone literally told me with a straight face, or as straight of a face as they could have hoped to manage, that “just because I can use social media, I’m not disabled, and there are probably jobs that I can find if I try hard enough”… or something. (One of my friends was as surprised as I was at this and inserted their own $0.02 into the matter, at which point the person who said this didn’t even really bother to engage them from my own understanding, because the exchange took place — wait for it — online, behind a computer screen, where the person could ironically say these things behind the veil of anonymity. Isn’t that how it always is?)

I told the person that I would continue to take advice from my care team, reminded them that the lights on my section of the house are kept dim, that I am “not always at the computer”, that my computer runs f.lux with Cave Painting selected (which is the least bright setting), and that I actually wear sunglasses in the house as necessary, and yes, until I found out that Zenni Optical now makes sunglasses in my prescription strength, that actually meant over my glasses some of the time. Aren’t these people wild, though? So desperate for people not to be disabled because they can not stand the idea of these people getting “free handouts”, even though these are benefits and services very often needed for these people to survive…

It’s almost always conservatives who say these things though, and more often than not religious ones.

Many of us would work if we could, because to stay eligible for these programs really is difficult. We would.

Hell, to actually become eligible for the programs in the first place is sometimes a hop, a skip, and a jump.

Because my old neurologist moved to a new hospital in another city that was too far to commute unless I could not find another neurologist in this area that took my insurance, I had to begin seeing another neurologist. So now I have to play the game of “proving to this one that my migraines are actually as severe and long-lasting as I say that they are”. I’ve been put on another medication that is meant to reduce frequency and severity of migraines, which I’m supposed to try for two months unless we find out sooner that it is exacerbating my asthma — this type of medication has a low risk of doing that, but if it does, I discontinue it. I suppose we will be finding that out in the coming weeks since I just finished a low and brief course of prednisone (since we are in the midst of a global pandemic and I want to have some semblance of an immune system in the event that I am actually exposed to the coronavirus, although I am actually surprised that I have managed to luck out thus far and… not be, or at the very least, not catch it, but that might be due to mask wearing and more frequent handwashing as recommended due to the nature of this).

More doctors need to take patients seriously when they actually try to advocate for themselves, shit.

I’ve been in the migraine game long enough I definitely know what does not work for me at all at this point…

At this point I may just ask for a referral to the local pain management clinic and let them oversee my care.