Posts Tagged ‘life’

13
Apr
2020

I need to come up with better titles for these.

categories: personal, RPGs; word count: 387 words

Good news: I am starting to get the hang of the “turnip exchange” in Animal Crossing, so over the course of several days, I actually completely paid off Tom Nook for the first time ever by doing all of the renovations on our house in this game and getting them all done and out of the way. Bub seems to like this game a lot, although he prioritizes certain things over others. I also laid down one of the best bridges in the game (Best Bridge For Bub!) and it should be built tomorrow since I paid the full Bell cost for it. We’ll see how that goes when I boot the game up tomorrow morning and… see whether or not it has actually been built. And so far, on our island there has never been an exceptionally good turnip sale price, so we’ve always been at the mercy of other people’s islands to sell turnips over there. I wish we would, at least once, peak with a good price. I’d probably give our island’s Dodo Code out to good friends of mine to start with before I took advantage of more official sites like the Turnip Exchange, even though I’ve used it myself to travel to other islands with higher turnip sale prices. I’m still getting my feet wet over there with the whole process, because on busier islands it takes awhile what with the whole game pausing whenever someone enters or exits, heh.

People are still panic buying certain things during this pandemic, which has made shopping a bit amusing.

Some of my friends have begun to get the economic stimulus payment (“Coronavirus check”), and we haven’t yet, but I’m waiting to see when we get ours since there’s me and two dependents to be tabulated.

Apparently Social Security re-routed my most recent disability application for a hearing, and this one won’t be held in person due to the distance. I anticipate just plain having to fight them until one of two things happens… I eventually get approved for disability benefits (SSI), or I give up. I don’t want to have to give up.

Chronic, intractable migraines are still my primary disabling diagnosis at present.

I would be doing a lot more (like even playing video games more frequently, seriously) if I didn’t have these.

12
Apr
2020

Happy… no Easter Vigil, or something, y’all.

categories: personal; word count: 338 words

Well, it’s been a decade since I rejected Catholicism. I still feel content that I did so, knowing that I made the right choice since I disagreed with all of its doctrine… and I mean all of its doctrine. You have to agree with all of it, or at least agree to submit to all of it, in order to “become” Catholic as an adult convert, so me “going through the motions” to shut someone up would have culminated in me lying to people at various stages in the process (RCIA, as previously mentioned) and I didn’t want to waste my time or anyone else’s time dragging that whole process out, especially because Catholicism artificially inflates their numbers by “not allowing you to quit” once you are on their rolls. And furthermore, I didn’t even want to crack the door open of “well, Bub needs to be baptized because that’s what our family does! and you’re the custodial parent, so we need to get your consent for it some way! and the easiest way to do that is just to shotgun convert you!”.

Because of the coronavirus pandemic, anyone who is getting… certain public benefits that may come due for a renewal automatically has those benefits renewed for the length of time that they had normally been getting them, so my medical insurance through the state was renewed for another calendar year. I am glad that I don’t have to worry about that. I mean, until they find some excuse to take it away from me. Well, that.

My state governor apparently wants to sign an executive order next week “helping businesses start to get back to work here soon”. In a global pandemic. Okay. Once you start to talk more about that, I’ll see what you “have in mind”, and then I guess I’ll see how hard I have to go in on you like Barret Wallace from Final Fantasy VII on your social media because we still have someone in power who does not understand science.

10
Apr
2020

Some things I’ve learned about in Animal Crossing.

categories: RPGs; word count: 286 words

And in general, because today is the day that Final Fantasy VII: the Remake came out! Actually came out!

I did not know about the concept of “time traveling” until now (such as going back to the most recent Sunday to buy turnips in case you missed the turnip NPC, whose name I almost always seem to forget until I actually see her), or turnip exchanges, which you can actually do on this site. Some of the more popular ones whose islands allow you to sell turnips for high Bell prices take… a little while to actually get in on (you know, getting high enough up in the queue to get the Dodo code to get in on the island), but for the islands with really high Bell prices, it kind of is worth it. I’ve participated in a few turnip exchanges so far, both on that site and with friends who have lucked out with high turnip sell rates, and now I’m participating in a Discord for Animal Crossing players over 25 (even if I’m primarily playing this game with Bub, I count as a player!).

We’ve also pre-loaded all of Final Fantasy VII: the Remake onto our PlayStation 4. Finally. The first… part. There was absolutely no way that I was going to start that at midnight when it “rolled out”. I may like games, but nowhere near that much. Nowhere near as much as I actually like sleeping, my friends. Games can wait. And although I wish that they had just put the whole remake into one game so that we could be one and done with it at some point, I mean, I really don’t mind that much. The remake got made, my friends.

06
Apr
2020

Some… questions about this that I’ve gotten.

categories: personal; word count: 483 words

Periodically, some people like to ask me if I’ve “forgiven my mom yet”, as though somehow I will… for lack of a better way to put it, be more amenable to doing so, want to come around to the idea of it as more time passes since her death. These tend to be some of the shorter conversations that I have about the matter, as they start and end with the word “no”, and the philosophy that has lent me the most inner peace is that I have not wanted to bring her up when I am not describing to a new audience… what happened (since actually writing about what took place, and the fact that I will never again have positive feelings toward her, as I do not and will never again have any sort of feelings even remotely resembling those you might expect one to have toward a biological parent that did raise them and was a part of their life until, well, said death).

As sad as it is for me to have to say this, I look forward to the coming months and years because the time period between her death (and “when I saw her last”) will progressively grow longer, spanning decades, until I too eventually pass. I will simply forget. Everything. And I am at peace with that. I will forget what it is like for her to have been a staple in this house, what she looked like — especially with hair, as they had to shave all of that to remove the brain tumor that would otherwise have killed her, and then it never really could grow back once she began cancer treatment — as well as what she sounded like, they will become distant memories, and then they will become no memories at all because she will eventually become someone that I just do not think about. I intend for the active “do not think about her at all” phase to begin at the one-year anniversary of her death, which will be this May. And coinciding with this, even though I have my own personal feelings on the… matters, I also feel that it is not (or should not) be “my” decision to forgive her. It should not rest solely, or even exclusively, at my feet. Bub, for lack of a better way to put it, is doing just fine and doesn’t seem to be indicating in any meaningful way that he thinks about her. (But I’ve also had it brought up by friends that even if he did one day convey to me that he had forgiven her, that I have the right to choose not to make that same decision myself if I do not want to, and I mean… my friends are right.)

For the people who have insisted that I “get over it”, this is precisely how I intend on doing so.

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