Posts Tagged ‘life’

15
Oct
2021

You do realize that I run a tracker here, right?

categories: blog maintenance, personal; word count: 191 words

The same people who complain that I view their Tweets when they misgender my friend and constantly call him by the wrong name are frequent fliers on this blog, sometimes going twenty-one pages back as they do so. You do realize that my internal tracker (Google Analytics, thank you very much) tells me all of this, right? In before some of you start claiming that it’s not legal or questioning the legality of it, it’s… literally Google Analytics. The only reason that it was ever even set up in the first place was because I wanted to know if Bub’s paternal grandmother and (one of?) her sisters were devoting hours to stalking me again because they have two extremely unique locations, and it would be impossible for them to say that “someone else from that area” viewed my blog in light of that. (This was actually something that was noticed by more than one state agency, too. The fact that this was happening. That they were doing this. I mean, it wasn’t “just me”.)

Sometimes expecting logic out of people is simply too much of an expectation, though. I’m just saying…

14
Oct
2021

Not too long ago, I made a decision that wasn’t easy.

categories: personal; word count: 393 words

There were certain people that I considered friends on Discord who, for lack of a better way to put it, decided to intrude into my personal life in spite of being told not to… so it wasn’t even as though this was remotely blatant. Prior to this, they had been friends of mine. However, it got me to thinking — what is the line when it comes to situations like this? In the past, friends of mine have told me that perhaps I can be a bit too friendly for the sake of being nice to people and maintaining friendships, even when I shouldn’t. I’ve also been told by friends of mine that sometimes I put up with a lot more than I should, even (and especially!) when I shouldn’t, and that it is well within my rights to assert boundaries by stating that I am no longer willing to put up with people who would do this to me. For the sake of maintaining professional decorum, I will not actively seek these people out on the server that we are on, and I will be civil to them. That does not mean that I need to be polite or friendly, though. I can manage “not being cruel or mean to you but not being your friend” alright.

I have gotten, and am getting, more support for this than I realize, and I am thankful for it. Furthermore, it incentivizes me to continue to draw these boundaries as necessary for my own mental health. If someone with a history of domestic violence and sexual assault is exhibiting that what you are saying by virtue of your intrusion into their personal life really uncomfortable, you need to stop — one of them knew both of these things for a fact and the other one was probably told. You don’t get to claim that “someone is having a bad mental health day” if you caused it. I am sick and tired of being “so friendly” that I become people’s punching bag, especially if it is out of distress that I suddenly become a friendly people-pleaser in conversations. If you do this to me, know that you have not just intruded on my boundaries, you have violated them, and I will not want to be friendly or polite to you for awhile. Click send. Do the posting thing.

24
Sep
2021

Opening the Floor: Acquiring a Formal Diagnosis

categories: personal; word count: 291 words

I’ve actually been asked this more than once, a small handful of times, and I don’t mind being asked about it or… well, most questions at all that I’m willing to answer in my blog. I’m as open as book as Rinoa Heartilly from Final Fantasy VIII for those of you who have played the game. Maybe that’s why I like her character…

But the question, so as no to sidetrack: would I ever pursue a formal autistic diagnosis?

I’ve given it a lot of thought, especially as I’ve become more comfortable identifying as an autistic person. If a doctor in my care team said something about it, I would not deny it (I would probably go the route of “I think I may be autistic as well”, especially as it relates to my children). If it helped me get disability benefits I would have the process worked up. My thoughts regarding this have by and far been passive though — if someone wants to work me up I am more than amenable to that. If someone in my care team calls me autistic or possibly autistic, that being their call, I would not deny it. However, I feel that I do not need the same supports that my children need, so it is not something that I would actively seek out at this time to the tune of calling my primary doctor, telling the receptionist taking the call that I thought I was autistic and would like to work the diagnosis up, that sort of thing. In other words, I am not extremely active or pro-active about it, although if having it thrust in front of me I would be agreeable to having it worked up. I hope I make sense!

21
Sep
2021

Opening the Floor: Yes, I Am Autistic, Folks

categories: personal; word count: 347 words

Because of the amount of W*ncest shippers that viewed my blog in a twenty-four hour period (we’re talking, like, thirty), I decided to open the floor to all who wanted to ask me questions to give me something to blog about. The least I can do is give them something to read. Of course, I won’t be identifying who asked what.

The first question that I was asked was about my autism “diagnosis”, which is a story in and of itself.

I began to participate in autistic-led communities when both of my children were formally diagnosed autistic because I wanted to learn as much as I could to appropriately and effectively parent them. At first I did not identify, or self-identify, as autistic because I did not know that I was autistic. As I began to make autistic friends in these communities with the advice that I occasionally gave as a parent being given clout, autistic adults began contacting me and speaking to me. A lot of them said that they believed that I was autistic, that they saw autism in me. A variety of ways to say it were used. I began to mull it over as the count of autistic adults telling me that they thought I was autistic increased, and I realized that I was comfortable not only with being an autistic adult but also self-identifying as such. In some circles I joke that the Internet diagnosed me, but it is the honest truth. I don’t feel ashamed of being an autistic adult, nor do I feel bad. Now, in these autistic-led circles, I self-identify as autistic and I try to give the best advice possible to neurotypical parents of autistic children. Autistic adults continue to see the fact that I am autistic in the kinds of advice that I give, and some of them tell me that. So yes, hello — I am autistic, and I am not ashamed.

I will get around to updating the about me section of this blog in due time, or probably seconds from now.

We shall see.

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