Posts Tagged ‘life’

Maybe one day I’ll stop accidentally deleting tags.

I find it humorously ironic that I get to decide whether or not I get to continue taking the medication that has caused me to gain the weight that I have. Apparently this is a… thing with this medication, as in, this is a distinct possibility that can occur with it. I do wish that this had been explained to me as I was being prescribed it, or even in the earlier stages of me taking it, so that I could have made a better decision about whether or not I wanted to take it or even stay on it, but I digress. It does actually work single-dosing it for particularly troublesome migraines, though, so I probably would have chosen to stay on it and to continue taking it. But like I said, I do wish that I had been informed about this side effect. This was actually one of the reasons that I spent the last of my economic stimulus check (“Coronavirus check”, or “Corona check”, as some people are actually calling it) on a manual treadmill for home. I had just enough money left over to actually do that, and I’m glad that I made that “investment”. It’s been something that I’ve wanted for awhile.

My first long-term goal is to eventually work up to comfortably being able to walk a mile. I’m going to do this on my own time, no matter how long it may take me. That will help my asthma, and it will also help me get into better shape. My neurologist knows about it, and (bless her heart, probably never having actually dealt with someone like me before, even though I’m sure she had to have had some kind of… training on chronic migraine disorder since she knew what it was) she is supportive of me undertaking an exercise regimen with it. I mean, she knows that I bought it. She knows why I bought it. She knows that I want to get into better shape and lose some of the weight that I have gained. The rest of my care team will eventually find out too.

The mile won’t be timed, by the way. It will simply be me working up to comfortably being able to walk one.

Apparently this is something nice to get me.

People are beginning to notice that I am collecting badges and pins for my purse and the supply bag.

These are the ones that are currently, as of the date that I am writing this post, on these two items.

· alumnus pin for the two-year college that I got my associate’s degree from
· a Hunger Games mockingjay pin… that bird from the books, in pin form
· a sylleblossom pin from the city of Tenebrae in Final Fantasy XV
· a few pins from Shiva Honey’s Serpentinae shop, which I really like
· an “I’ll Go With You” badge (in case someone needs escorting to the restroom)
· an official Black Lives Matter pin, which is one of my favorite pins of my growing collection

It’s been said by people that know me in person that I can be a bit… difficult to shop for, so if this makes it easier for people to shop for me for birthdays and Christmases (“buy her badges and pins for her purse or the supply bag”), I mean, I’ll go with it at this point. There’s still a bit of room left on the supply bag for a few more pins if I’m wise about the locations that I clip or pin them on, even though the top of the supply bag is a bit busy. I could definitely clip or pin some more badges or pins to my purse. I’m getting into this whole badge and pin thing though. It’s definitely taking on a life of its own, definitely more than an inside joke.

Or maybe it still is an inside joke (“we finally know what we can buy her now!”). Either way, I’m fine with it.

This has saved me both time and trouble.

One of the things that I’ve resumed doing is queuing posts, especially when I’m not having migraine activity.

Meanwhile, for some strange reason our laptop’s fan has been a bit louder than it should be. I’ve cleaned the bottom the computer as well as I’m able to, but I think that replacing a fan when it’s soldered to the motherboard is beyond even my expertise with a computer. When that time comes, I think my best bet is going to be getting as affordable of a laptop as I can find to replace this one. This computer isn’t that old, and it’s been taken care of as well as you can possibly take care of a computer, so I’m chalking this up to “bad things randomly happen some of the time”. And based on the location, not to mention my knowledge of computers, I know that it’s the fan. I’ve been price-checking comparable computers in the interim, because we don’t need anything outrageously powerful… just something with the same specifications that this has.

Someone who’s become like a maternal figure to me did walk me through everything that I need to do to clean the fan if I do decide to “take it apart”, and I am thankful! I do software more than I do hardware…

Anyway, requirements for a good computer, at least in this household:
· can get online
· allows the kids to do educational things
· plays the kids’ games

Since this now bears a slight update, heh.

Neurological medications:
Lisinopril, 5mg once daily
Naratriptan, 2.5mg up to three times per week
Nortriptyline, 20mg once daily
Olanzapine, 10mg once daily if needed
Promethazine, 25mg once daily if needed
Trokendi, 200mg once nightly
Zomig dissolvable melt, 5mg up to three times per week

Respiratory medications:
Albuterol, two puffs inhaled up to every six hours as needed
Albuterol, one vial nebulized up to every six hours as needed
(for some reason, this was changed when I began filling recent scripts)
Claritin, standard dose
Symbicort, two inhalations twice daily
Singulair, standard dose

I continue to be off of prednisone right now, which I chalk up to being in the middle of a pandemic.

Other medications:
Depo-Provera, taken every ninety days

The abundance of “autism moms” on the Internet.

I don’t know if it’s because of the… faux pas in grammar that this bothers me so much or the fact that they are taking their child’s diagnosis, attempting to wrap themselves up in it, and live vicariously through their child in spite of the fact that many of them claim to “hate autism” and exhibit obvious disdain for their child’s neurology, but there’s always been something about the phrase “autism mom” and “autism dad” that bothers me, even though the title gives away the fact that there seem to be a lot more “autism moms” on the Internet than there are “autism dads”. Sometimes I like to call it exactly what it is though… “assholes who try to live vicariously through their child” (since almost no other diagnosis has parents who come up with monikers like this to the point that this is a thing, and I will take correction if I am wrong), “people who claim to love their children but hate their child’s neurology, which is a fundamental part of their child”, and “people who hate their children so much that they want to cure their child, which would then give them a completely different child” — oh, pardon me, I must be running off a bit at the mouth again. That’s a thing that I do, heh.

Anyway, points to ponder:
Are you a mom? A dad? Are you autistic? Great! You are an autism mom or an autism dad!
Are you not autistic? Sucks to be you. You are not an autism mom. You are not an autism dad.

Your child’s identity is not your identity, although attempting to find a community similar to your own (“parents of autistic children”) is not a bad thing. Admitting that you may have struggles due to your child’s behavior is one thing. Attempting to martyr yourself due to your child’s struggles for attention is different, and is one of many reasons that autistic adults do not trust many neurotypical parents of autistic children.

Remember, though, that your child’s autism is fundamentally linked to who they are.

You can not “hate autism” without hating core, unchangeable components of who your child is.

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