Archive of ‘personal’ category

“Gifted” in areas, needing help in others.

This post directly follows my last post relating to the experiences that I had attending secondary school.

However, this post, as with the last one, focuses on experiences of mine attending high school.

I was enrolled in my school’s gifted and talented program in second grade, and chose to quit it during grade eleven when my history teacher made some ableist remarks in the classroom one day about how the “smart students should only (associate) with each other, and not the normal students”. He made it clear when he said those things that he meant them, and he made it a point to look at me when he was saying them. I didn’t feel comfortable continuing to be part of a program that prioritized cohesiveness based on one’s perceived intelligence, made that abundantly clear as I quit the program, and had the backing and support of both of my parents, who were appalled that a teacher involved in the program was using the platform to disseminate views like this (“even if he was joking”… although no, it did not seem like he was actually joking).

As I went through the process of quitting the gifted and talented program, it came up that I had been struggling in math for years based on my grades and self-attestation, and I had asked if there were any supports that could be given to me to better help me understand material that I struggled with. The school actually had the audacity to tell me that since I had tested into the gifted and talented curriculum, I “didn’t need (those) supports and services,” pointed out that I had not actually failed any math courses, and furthermore, had the audacity to tell me that they would refuse to provide me with any supports and services relating to my struggles in math even though my grades made it clear that I struggled with my understanding of the material in comparison to the other core subjects, which I excelled in. This was around when I realized that because the school “saw” me as gifted, they weren’t actually going to assist me in any area in which I struggled because they would fall back on the fact that I had, at least for a long stretch of time, been enrolled in the gifted and talented program. This was actually a regret of my mother’s — she would later tell me that if she had known that this would cause so many problems, especially as it related to the fact that it would take me all the way until college statistics and algebra to gain a sufficient understanding of mathematics, one that I should have gained while I was still in secondary school, and if I was going to be exposed to these blatant ableist ideologies as a result of my parents consenting to allowing me to be involved in the gifted and talented program, my parents would never have consented to allow me to be a part of the program in the first place. And to be frank, I can see why my mother said what she said.

My entire time spent in secondary school left a lot to be desired overall, especially for reasons like this.

At the time, I didn’t know that what the school did was actually illegal — even if a student demonstrates sufficient understanding, or mastery, in one or more core subjects but struggles immensely in another, they are to be offered appropriate supports and services to help them achieve mastery. “Being a part of the gifted and talented program at one point” does not prevent the school from offering these supports and services.

I did not have any idea that there was even a thing called dyscalculia until I was in college, and that’s sad.

My experiences with asthma.

As a child, I fell through the cracks and did not get the diagnosis of childhood asthma that I should have gotten. My inability to keep up with my peers began to manifest itself in junior high school when I could not keep up with them running laps around the gym, and it didn’t seem like any of my gym teachers cared enough to notice. An attempt to join my high school’s cross-country and soccer teams were thwarted by the fact that I could not for the life of me keep up with my peers at all — I was the only student on the cross-country team that year who “could not get over the mental block” required to run the mile (and wished that my coach would have realized that it was not a mental block preventing me from running the mile, but asthma), and was frequently having asthmatic exacerbations while attempting to train for the soccer team that only went so far noticed by my soccer coach as to reduce what was actually expected of me on the field. My parents did not find out until more than a decade later, after I had been forced to drop out of both teams due to an inability to keep up due to undiagnosed childhood asthma, that when I was enrolled in gym class and my gym coach discovered the severity of my asthma he let me ride the bench the entire period to get the needed credits for gym and gave me an A without informing my parents that there was any concern at all about me not being able to participate with my peers. Literally no one reached out to my parents at all.

While my classmates did gym activities, I sat on the bleachers doing homework and was given As for gym.

I wasn’t formally diagnosed with asthma until I began seeing my own primary care physician as an adult, and she was flabbergasted that it had taken this long for anyone to even question that I had asthma given the frequency and severity of my symptoms as well as the limits that they imposed on my life. Because various maintenance medications did not have the desired effects and my asthma was still as prevalent as it was, especially exertionally, I was referred to a pulmonologist (and eventually had to change to a new primary care physician and pulmonogist over the years). Although I am comparatively in a bit of a better place with my asthma than I was years, even decades ago, I still resent the fact that I was never diagnosed with asthma as a child and that I could not participate in the activities that I wanted to participate in because the coaches that were supposed to be responsible for my well-being could not even reach out to my parents to let them know that there were impediments to me successfully being able to be a part of the teams that I wanted to be on. (And at that, my gym coach letting me ride the bench for multiple gym classes gets more and more absurd the more that I continue to think about it, especially as I continue to get older.)

All in all, I feel like several key adults that were in my life when I was a child dropped the ball and failed me.

Actually, for more than just this reason, I feel like key parts of my secondary school education failed me.

Maybe my asthma wouldn’t have snowballed into what it became if these adults at school had contacted my parents about my exertional struggles sooner, cluing my parents in to the realization that I needed assistance to participate in activities that I wanted to participate in, and I would be more fit for it today.

But all I can do, more than a decade after graduation from high school, is sadly wonder about that though…

If someone says that they’re disabled…

Believe them. Please just do everyone a favor in general and take them at their word.

And for the record, the Google definition of disability, to make it even easier on people:
“a physical or mental condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.”

I can not begin to convey in here, let alone articulate, how many times I have seen — or heard — people playing “the disability police”, being the arbiter of whether or not someone is “disabled enough” or “truly disabled”. If you live in the United States, you probably already have a good idea how difficult it is for an adult to actually get disability benefits. Not getting them does not mean that they are not disabled. One’s worth is not defined by the job that they have, any jobs that they are capable of holding, or their lack of job.

Some people are disabled and can work. Some people are disabled and can not work.

Sometimes this fluctuates over the course of the disabled person’s life, depending on their disabilities.

This does not mean that they are not disabled, or that their disabilities have any less of an impact on them.

For able-bodied people to smugly suggest jobs that they think someone who is disabled should get, or “be able to work”, is so outrageous that I don’t actually have words for it other than the fact that it is so smug that I don’t ever want to be around when it actually happens. It must take an extreme amount of smugness to sit on your high, usually middle-class throne to make comments like that when you’re not disabled (and no, your intermittent conditions do not count if they are not disabling, so do not use them trying to gain clout with the community… I’ve seen this happen when these folks have their feet held to the fire, as they should), not having any of the lived experiences that come with disability. Do these folks not even hear themselves?

If a disabled person says that they can’t do something, please just take them at their word.

The person living the experience, the disabled person, should be able to describe in sufficient detail what their limitations are, and it should go without saying that since they live with those limitations every day — at least as a general rule of thumb insofar as them being disabled, having that disabling condition — that they should be believed when they discuss them. We as a society should more automatically believe them.

It would make disabled people’s lives so much more easier as a whole if people just simply did this.

Comparatively speaking, very few people lie about being disabled. Far more people are telling the truth.

Why did you put down the Vita?

Because that’s what you did, Sony. You put it down like Susan the horse from Doctor Who.

When I found out that Sony was going to discontinue the Vita last year and that they were not going to manufacture any more games for it, I was extremely perplexed for a number of reasons, some personal.

Not only is the Vita a reigning household favorite for the simple fact that it is a mobile console, meaning that we can take it with us as needed — and as wanted — wherever we are, and wherever we want to go, but it was Sony’s most recent mobile console. And if they were going to discontinue it, Sony wouldn’t have a mobile console, meaning that the only game developer to have a mobile console… would be Nintendo, with the Nintendo Switch. This meant that Sony would be conceding the entire mobile console market to Nintendo. Was this really the most tactical thing for them to do when there was no word of a new mobile console even waiting in the wings? Not so much as a peep of anything new in development? Seriously, Sony?

We here at the Bub Club, as I like to put it, take our consoles seriously. We take our mobile consoles even more seriously. (And the fact that I call them mobile consoles pays homage to the fact that I am a Doctor Who fan, or a Whovian as some people like to put it. Sometimes I straight up call them mobiles. Sometimes I straight up call cell phones mobiles. That’s the overwhelmingly British lineage in me talking from across the pond, courtesy of Ancestry and 23andMe. I knew there was a reason that I liked the shows that I did as much as I did.) We don’t throw consoles away when they still function, and we replace parts and consoles when they don’t function to make them still function. We frequent pawn shops as needed, and we still have a functioning Nintendo 64 and Super Nintendo. Who says blowing into a cartridge isn’t fun for the whole family? I mean, I’m an asthmatic, so I have one of my kids do it for me, but I mean, my kids know what blowing into a cartridge is like because I’m a good parent and my goal is clearly raising them right here…

Frankly, though, I got a lot of enjoyment out of games that came out on the Vita, and Bub has enjoyed a lot of them as well. So for Sony to completely discontinue the Vita like this and take themselves out of the mobile console market is, at least to me, incredibly foolish. This concedes the whole mobile console market to Nintendo. Do they even care that this affects their bottom line and their revenue, or does it not bother them?

My Ancestry results are in!

According to 23andMe, I am:
56.9% British and Irish
27.5% German
1.7% Scandinavian
10.5% Broadly Northwestern European
2.2% Southern European (this was formerly Portuguese/Spanish)
1.1% Broadly European
(and before this, 0.10% Broadly Northern East African, where’d that go?)

According to Ancestry, I am:
71% from England, Wales, and Northwestern Europe
25% from Ireland and Scotland
4% from Germany

That’s quite a stretch between the two of them.

Honestly, I think my Germanic DNA and my Irish DNA are having a fistfight.

I didn’t expect them to be so vastly different in terms of feedback, but here we are, I suppose!

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