June 2020 archive

05
Jun
2020

You fascinate me, but I’m just not like you are.

categories: personal; word count: 334 words

Reading other people’s religious conversion stories fascinate me, even though I know that I will never be one of them or write a story anything like theirs (unless you count taking the side step from atheism to atheistic satanism counts… I suppose to some people it might, even though there is the same basic foundation of a lack of belief in the supernatural, because all we do is consider Satan our role model). I suppose it’s because I absolutely know that I will never become like them or live my life like they live theirs, although I don’t mean to sound like I’m saying that in a holier than thou, “I’m better than you” way. It’s just that our lives are so markedly different from one another’s, and they always will be. I didn’t even intend to live that kind of life if I had married Bub’s father — I wasn’t going to adhere to any of the doctrine. I might have pretended to on the outside, at least to people that didn’t know that I had never believed in the existence of a higher power and never would. (And in case anyone asks: religion was actually not the primary thing that separated us, although it was one of the most major things. There was also the fact that once Bub was born, his father made it clear to everyone that he did not actually want to be a father. There was just sadly no denying that.)

I also find religious doctrine, and the rules of some of the “harder line” religions, a bit — or a lot — peculiar.

So many people are convinced that as I get older, “and I get closer to death”, I might recant, but I don’t see the need to change my mind on thoughts that I have had for nearly my entire life out of fear of the unknown.

As I like to tell these people, “if I am wrong, don’t you think baiting and switching will infuriate your God?”.

04
Jun
2020

A novel way to actually build credit for… free.

categories: personal; word count: 281 words

Please note that I am not actually getting paid to make this post.

Someone mentioned Kikoff on Facebook, and I decided to give this a try on my own since… surprisingly, I don’t actually have any credit. I’ve been the kind of person to only pay for things when I have the money “in hand” to make the payment, but I figured that if there were a way to start to work on my credit without actually taking tangible risk in the event that I needed to have good credit in the future, I might as well start now while I didn’t technically need to have good credit. So that’s what I’ve been doing. What Kikoff does is “lends” you $12.00 in their virtual wallet once you make an account with them, and you pay them back a dollar a month over the course of a year with them. As long as you stay current on payments, they report that “loan” being paid back to them to all three major credit reporting agencies in the United States. In turn, that actually gives you a credit score if you’re… well, like me, and you don’t have a credit score, or it improves your credit score if you’re someone who might not have the best credit score (this can influence up to 35% of your credit score if that is the case and you already have a credit score!). As long as you remember to make these single $1 payments on time, it’s all reward and no risk — you come out of it with an actual, good credit score, which you can later use to your advantage, or you actually improve your already existing credit score!

04
Jun
2020

It’s almost like you can actually bet on this.

categories: personal; word count: 211 words

You know, something tells me that Myka would not have “re-homed” her adopted autistic son if he were one of her biological children. It’s almost as though you can bet on that. And it’s not as though you can practically bet on the fact that she did so because his disabilities inconvenienced her, because even if he did have behavioral problems, there were services that she could easily have accessed at her family’s income level — having the income, and the resources, to do so — that would have allowed her to retain parental rights over him (such as a group home for whatever length of time might have been necessary, worst case institutionalization, or even respite care). She just didn’t want to take the extra time out to care for him at all and it really showed. Then she had the nerve to delete all pictures of him from her Instagram account (so much for “we miss him every day”), and now, as of the time I’m writing this post, law enforcement is trying to locate him. So much for her “re-homing” being legitimate. I am actually worried that something might have happened to him that hasn’t been said by her family. This sadly happens to a lot of autistic kids nowadays…

03
Jun
2020

A lot of things all in one post here, I guess.

categories: personal; word count: 264 words

Through slightly more careful observation, I’m speculating that the “first cousins” on my Ancestry matches page may be my mother’s (half-)sisters. Neither of them have responded to my messages, so it is what it is… for now. They may or may not know that she exists, or existed, if that is the case. Her father was never really in her life to begin with and actively avoided supporting her, although if I remember correctly my late grandmother had one picture of siblings that she had through him, and my mother told me that he died in the mid-nineties. But I have been talking to a more distant cousin of mine on Ancestry, and she dislikes organized theistic religion as much as I do, which is great. I intend on sending her a friends request on Facebook once I can, once I am done with this most recent post block and comment block. (And ironically, for Mark Zuckerberg kissing Trump’s ass not being willing to take a harder line against the shit he says on social media, a lot of people are quitting Facebook, which I think is good. Maybe Facebook will stop being popular.)

And since I’ve joined so many Discord servers, I’ve actually left some of the ones that I didn’t chat as much in to cut down on the amount of ones that I am a member of, because I couldn’t juggle all of them at once. It was (and is) nothing personal to the ones that I did quit! It’s just that I can’t juggle being in so many servers.

02
Jun
2020

This is me getting blocked by a state bishop.

categories: personal; word count: 251 words

I think it might have been around the part where I mentioned that I was happy and relieved not to have to attend Mass with my ex’s family any more (it’s been almost a full decade now), and that when his family was literally forcing me to attend church functions with them that I was literally telling him that I did not want to go to, I was bringing my PSP with me and playing it on silent in the arm of my sweater when I was not caring for our child, ignoring everything that was going on the entire time to the point that I had to Google what actually goes on in Mass a decade later. I was “immersed” in Catholicism. I went to Masses with his family and various church functions and get-togethers (that I did not want to attend either). It didn’t make me believe in God or “see” that his church was “the one true religion” in any way, shape or form. I felt apathy toward attending, was bored at the idea of it bar the fact that I played video games to relieve that boredom and tune out what was going on around me, and was incensed and irate that I had to attend these things that I saw no point in attending since I was never voluntarily converting or following the doctrine of.

And I was right. I never did convert, none of us did, and we’re still not following the doctrine today. So…

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