Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

Back and forth. Back and forth we go.

Someone tells me that the good cause claim for Bub is approved.

Hours later, someone tells me that it’s not because it is primarily against his paternal grandmother.

I left a message with the domestic violence specialist that I’ve been speaking with about submitting another good cause claim implicating Bub’s father, seeing as how he intentionally brought his parents onto my property in late 2010 knowing that they would get violent. This was something that he knew would happen, and he intentionally did it. I don’t want Bub’s father to be blameless in this situation. There is also other information that I hope to supply to the domestic violence specialist about my relationship with Bub’s father that I haven’t spoken about to anyone, because it took me years to realize that it had happened in our relationship. It was something that I didn’t want to think about because I was so focused on raising Bub and Monster, and Bub’s father hadn’t seen him since he was an infant, so it got pushed to the back of my mind where it stayed until it began to become relevant. It’s something that I will mention to the domestic violence specialist if asked about it, if it becomes relevant, which it may. But I’m sick of this back and forth madness.

I hate having been put in the position to protect my children from their other parents, even though it is absolutely necessary in both cases and it is something that I will never hesitate to do. I absolutely hate it.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet, so…

I still have a Staph infection on my leg. But should anyone be surprised?

It’s begun to heal a bit, and it has gotten smaller, but it is still definitely there. There is still pain to be had with dressing changes. I was given a prescription for codeine to take to manage it, and it has taken the edge off of the pain when I change dressings or when I bathe. It doesn’t take away all of the pain, but it does help!

However, we are now on three months of this thing, and that in itself has gotten annoying.

Taking pictures is a hobby of mine, especially when I’m taking pictures of my children.

Were we finally getting somewhere with this?

The good cause waiver for Monster’s case was approved, but… not for Bub’s case. Both of them have had good cause waivers exempting them from child support enforcement so that we can safely access benefits from 2014 all the way to now when this, for lack of a better way to put it, “suddenly” became an issue. Absolutely nothing has changed as far as the safety risks go. I have continued to be in contact with multiple people working for the child support office and HHSC, and I have broadened my horizons to include contact being made with Lone Star Legal Aid as well. Strange how mentioning that to HHSC and the local child support office suddenly got a “policy review” scheduled for my son’s case… when they knew that I had sought out legal advice and, quite possibly, any legal help that they can provide me. This could very well end in one branch of the state taking another one to court for refusing to honor the good cause waiver that the local domestic violence shelter, as per their paperwork, approved for my son’s case. It’s actually supposed to be up to the domestic violence specialist whether or not a good cause waiver gets approved, not HHSC. And as it was, I wasn’t supposed to have to renew the kids’ good cause waivers to start. They are one and done.

I anticipate that the low-income legal aid service that this state offers may be more useful than any of my prior contacts have, even though the woman that did the intake for my request was baffled that the abusive party in Bub’s case is his paternal grandmother and that there had been a waiver on his case that was allowed to stay there without a problem until now. That last bit might be what gets his case some attention.

I think we are finally actually getting somewhere!

I have been in contact with various people working for both HHSC (Health and Human Services) and the OAG (Office of the Attorney General) to expedite closure of Bub and Monster’s child support cases. This has been by e-mail and over the phone. A supervisor that I spoke with from HHSC, or someone who honestly seemed like she was one with her expertise, told me that the boys’ child support files have been flagged as having good cause since their birth years, and she was perplexed that the child support office even wanted to work these cases. She told me that to her knowledge, as soon as a good cause claim is approved, you don’t have to do it again… well, not unless you want the claim to be removed, then change your mind and decide to have it reinstated. I’m glad that the state sees the risk of harm working these cases for what it is, though. I would pursue child support if it were safe to do. I would pursue lifetime child support if it were safe to do, because the boys could really use it with their disabilities and more than meet the criteria for that. However, I had to make peace years ago with the fact that neither of these things can safely be pursued.

It sucks, but these were literally decisions that I had to make in both cases to eliminate the risk of harm.

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