Tracking says I need to write another banger.

Although I don’t regret reconnecting with several of the people that I grew up with, I do regret letting some of these people invite me to countless Discord servers (I’ve left all but one of them, and it’s going to stay that way) because the only reason I’ve been online as much as I have — or as much as I’ve appeared to be, anyway — has been due to the pandemic and the fact that, being at higher risk of complications from COVID-19 and monkeypox should I catch either, I’ve continued to quarantine to the extent I have been able. When COVID-19 becomes endemic and I don’t have to worry about catching it from people, least of all the science deniers that populate this state at the percentages that they do, I’m going to be online a lot less… and I’m going to be harder to get a hold of, let alone stay in contact with. The computer will remain on for streaming purposes so that I can game, stream, and connect with those who any combination of those things, but when I’m not doing something relating to one of those three things, I’m going to be enjoying getting back to various real-life activities that I’ve had to put on the back burner or miss doing for how long?

This is how I’ve been for at least twelve years now, so although I’m going to make sure that the people I want to stay in contact with me are able to reach me, as the saying goes: I’m too old for this shit (this shit, of course, being the drama that I do not want to participate in at the ripe old age of thirty-six), and I do not want to participate in it. I do not want to be involved in it. I do not want to watch from the sidelines, not even with popcorn. No, you can’t bribe me with extra buttery popcorn. It is what it is in the regard that I do not have the patience for… this kind of thing any more, and my propensity to mouth off in response to it has only grown until it is an assured thing that I will mouth off in response to it, and society already does not like strong, independent, assertive women. If we are friends on social media, following each other on social media, or have friended each other on Discord and you are reading this, I’d love to keep in touch with you to the extent that real life allows me to, especially after these pandemics (look kids, we’re in two of them now) finally end! If we’re still in any of the same Discord servers, the same principle applies, unless you already know that I don’t want anything to do with you because I’ve already blocked you and we just happen to share one Discord server in common. (I didn’t want to leave an out for anyone reading who could have exploited the “we share one Discord server, I’m going to use that as an excuse to bother her” type of thing.)

Let it be known though that it took twelve years for any of these people to find me because I did not want to be found by the majority of them wanting to stay out of… well, all of the drama, and I’ve decided to take that approach again because age has made some of these people older but not any wiser. I’m getting better at doing what my therapist wants me to do, probably wanted me to have started doing much sooner than I actually started doing it: excising myself from situations that I did not want to be in and not feeling as though I had to give “enough of a reason” for me doing so. “I am too old for this shit” is now the reason.

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