Hello, I’m thirty-four. Monogamy makes me sad.

I used to say “monogamy bores me and I find it dull”, but I think I’m going to steal a few lines from Kat Blaque now (who I’ve recently discovered is polyamorous thanks to a friend linking me to her videos, which made my day one evening), and state that I find it unreasonable that I be expected to give all of myself to one person, that we do not expect just one friend of ours to fulfill all of our needs, and that anyone who expects us — especially a polyamorous person — to give all of themselves to one person, or tries to require it, is toxic, and that person needs to have themselves be distanced from or avoided. But that’s just my take.

I have never successfully done a monogamous relationship because, for the longest time, I assumed that I had to “find some way to make one work”, and this literally came at the detriment of all of my monogamous relationships because I did not know (and for awhile, was not even made aware) that there were options that… wait for it… were not monogamy. I owe this to cultural and religious upbringing, especially because growing up when and where I did, this was not mentioned as an option. Once I realized that I was polyamorous, and that I needed to date in this relationship configuration, eschewing monogamy from that point forward (and not allowing men to “make exceptions for me”, which I could write a completely separate post on and actually intend on doing so), life began running much more smoothly for me and for all involved (my “comfortable amount” is surprisingly two) parties. Some people just do not “work well” with monogamy.

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