Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

This may be going slightly better now.

The individual working for HHSC’s family violence coordination unit corresponded with the child support office, who… wait for it… needed two new copies of the good cause form (you know, the one that’s been on file for both cases since 2014?) to close the child support cases out as a condition of us receiving certain state benefits. Luckily for me, I was able to do the interview for both cases over the phone due to COVID-19 and the whole needing to get this done as soon as humanly possible thing, and the domestic violence specialist that I spoke with over the phone told me that both cases clearly qualified. Bub’s case qualifies because of his extended family members, but in particular his paternal grandmother. Monster’s case qualifies because of his father. (And I know, you ordinarily don’t get extended family as the abusers…)

Now I have people from multiple agencies e-mailing me, responding to my initial complaints and inquiries, apologizing that these cases were even opened up to begin with stating that they will do all that they can to expedite their closure. I even had to tell the domestic violence specialist that I spoke with over the phone that I was absolutely certain that I did not want child support or to have the orders enforced… apparently they need to make sure that you actually understand what having a good cause waiver on your child’s case implies, but I was very enthusiastic in letting her know that I do not want child support if it can at all be avoided — barring Bub’s paternal grandmother’s completely voluntary payments, which she’s been making for awhile now — because there is simply no safe way to pursue it. This was a decision that I had to make a long time ago, and it is a decision that I will continue making for as long as the boys are both minors. On top of that, even in spite of their disabilities, this means that I have chosen not to pursue lifetime child support.

DoorDashing on Bub’s dime: Taco Bell!

This time, we opted to get Taco Bell instead of Subway.

I’m thinking that the next time we DoorDash, for variety’s sake I’ll make it McDonalds.

The Taco Bell order cost a bit more than the Subway one did, but Bub is clearly all about the bread life, and if anything is made with a whole lot of bread or tortilla in it… you can probably do the math and get to the root of how much munching he did. But it was nice that we got plenty of napkins and sauce packets (although you can specify how many sauce packets you want when making your order), because you tend to need both of those when you’re eating Taco Bell. And so far, I’m pleased as punch that the DoorDashers who have brought us our food so far have taken the time to read the message that I left them about not knocking or ringing our doorbell because it might scare the kids… as it is, in the app you can actually track where your order is, and by watching the app know when it’s been left on your step if you opt for contactless delivery.

So far, this has been a lot of fun, and my only regret is that we didn’t begin DoorDashing sooner.

Finally getting a leg up on this whole thing.

I found an internal e-mail address for HHSC’s family violence coordination unit that proved to be extremely useful, e-mailed the copy of the good cause form to them that the child support office continued to have on file, and expressed confusion to them about all of the conflicting things I’ve heard from… well, everyone responsible for not working these cases. The individual that I began to correspond with about this over e-mail was as confused as I was why HHSC “lost” the good cause waiver, why anyone was expressing concern that it was for both of my cases, and why the child support office was (or has been) attempting to work the cases. He said that he was looking into it “to see why this was even happening”, so it’s good to finally have someone in my corner who sees all of the confusion in this for precisely what it is: confusion.

If I could work, I would. There are many jobs out there that I would like to do… if I could do them. I made peace with being disabled several years ago, and it was a process. I know my body and I know my limits better than anyone, and I would appreciate it if more people actually respected this in the long term…

The same old thing, the same old thing.

I am continuing to fix the screw-ups that the state of Texas has caused, because it went from “HHSC can not find copies of the good cause forms”, that have been on file since 2014, to “according to someone working at the child support office in the capital, the form that was on file wasn’t even the right form in the first place”, even though it was accepted in 2014 and has functioned since then. It has just gotten to the point where I am now putting in a closure request on the cases each day to prove a point, to make sure that the state knows that I am not screwing around when it comes to the safety issues that would present themselves working either one of these cases, am regularly inquiring on the child support website about the status of the closures of the cases to continue to make that point, and have filed a complaint with the HHSC state ombudsman as well as several complaints about the Austin caseworker with the child support website. I figure that they can’t ignore all of these things, especially if I continue to escalate them. If I absolutely must (since Bub’s paternal grandmother is once again paying on her adult son’s order), I’m thinking that I will actively refuse all child support monies disbursed to me by sending it back to the State Disbursement Unit.

I shouldn’t be having to work this hard to keep my family safe from harm, but here we are, doing this again.

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