Posts Tagged ‘life’

I still don’t have any Google PageRank on this.

I’ve been reading about any new metrics that the behemoth known as Google PageRank could be using, or has been using, in the hopes that I can raise this blog’s PageRank for future endeavors (even though, apparently, a sign that it might have started to be noticed by Google is an influx of spam comments… and, I mean, I do get those). It honestly seems like blogs in general, particularly self-hosted blogs, are not quite as popular as they used to be maybe even ten years ago, even though I didn’t feel like I could actually write anything of substance in a public blog due to the fact that members of Bub’s paternal family were actually cyberstalking me online. So far, I continue to monitor the Google Analytics that is embedded in this blog to ensure that hits from two very specific locations do not come up. If they do, I will go through my view history to find the IP of those hits, block them by 403, and continue to block any subsequent hits to those locations for as long as it takes until the message that I am attempting to send becomes clear. It might already have become clear now that they know that I am running an internal tracker behind all websites that I use (or that I did), or the fact that the state would not actively pursue child support in Bub’s case citing safety reasons that stemmed from his paternal grandmother for the longest time until those safety issues had to shift to his father and his paternal grandparents. As stated, I may address those… issues in a password-protected post.

It still boggles me that I can’t, at least, easily get a PageRank of one just by writing here as much as I do.

In case it actually needs to be said here…

There are certain things beyond what I have already mentioned in here that I… haven’t mentioned in here, that I may later write about under the protection of a password-protected post. Some of the people who already know me might be aware of these things, but they weren’t things that I wanted to write about within the confines of a completely public post because anyone who had my blog URL or stumbled across my blog could see them… but that is also the reason that I don’t use any of our real names in this blog, or on social networking sites with public contents. I’m also careful with what I do disclose. I still haven’t figured out the best way to approach writing about… what I’ve mentioned for the purposes of writing in this blog, although that may come with time. It’s something that is going to have to come with being thought about.

To lighten this post up a little bit, here’s a cute picture of Bub sitting on top of pillows.

I shouldn’t have had to fight like this, but…

Enforcement on Bub’s child support case should be, and stay, ceased.

I shouldn’t have had to fight state agencies on this on this like I did, but that was what it came down to. I wound up having to divulge things that I hadn’t really talked about until that point, especially recently… but they were necessary to paint the picture of why enforcement of his child support order would not be safe for either one of us. I wound up having to contact my state’s low-income legal aid service, letting them know what was going on, although I may not need their services if the good cause waiver for his child support case was and stays approved. I’ll be sure to let them know how things are going, or have gone, at the point of our next contact. And having sent an e-mail to one of my state’s HHSC’s internal e-mail accounts also helped expedite matters, but I think I’ve already mentioned beginning to correspond with HHSC’s family violence program specialist. At that point, and at this point, I wasn’t willing to put up with the refusal of a good cause waiver when one had been on his case since 2014, and I didn’t want to have to relive certain… traumatic events that had occurred, even though I wound up having to do exactly that to have new good cause forms filled out (twice for Bub! because the first one that the domestic violence specialist submitted to HHSC was denied, even though approval of those are supposed to be at the discretion of the domestic violence specialist, not HHSC themselves). At the end of the day, I did what I had to do to protect my child.

I did what I had to do to protect myself as well, because I do not need any further interactions with members of my children’s paternal families, and lack of enforcement on their child support orders minimizes this risk.

Back and forth. Back and forth we go.

Someone tells me that the good cause claim for Bub is approved.

Hours later, someone tells me that it’s not because it is primarily against his paternal grandmother.

I left a message with the domestic violence specialist that I’ve been speaking with about submitting another good cause claim implicating Bub’s father, seeing as how he intentionally brought his parents onto my property in late 2010 knowing that they would get violent. This was something that he knew would happen, and he intentionally did it. I don’t want Bub’s father to be blameless in this situation. There is also other information that I hope to supply to the domestic violence specialist about my relationship with Bub’s father that I haven’t spoken about to anyone, because it took me years to realize that it had happened in our relationship. It was something that I didn’t want to think about because I was so focused on raising Bub and Monster, and Bub’s father hadn’t seen him since he was an infant, so it got pushed to the back of my mind where it stayed until it began to become relevant. It’s something that I will mention to the domestic violence specialist if asked about it, if it becomes relevant, which it may. But I’m sick of this back and forth madness.

I hate having been put in the position to protect my children from their other parents, even though it is absolutely necessary in both cases and it is something that I will never hesitate to do. I absolutely hate it.

Finally getting a leg up on this whole thing.

I found an internal e-mail address for HHSC’s family violence coordination unit that proved to be extremely useful, e-mailed the copy of the good cause form to them that the child support office continued to have on file, and expressed confusion to them about all of the conflicting things I’ve heard from… well, everyone responsible for not working these cases. The individual that I began to correspond with about this over e-mail was as confused as I was why HHSC “lost” the good cause waiver, why anyone was expressing concern that it was for both of my cases, and why the child support office was (or has been) attempting to work the cases. He said that he was looking into it “to see why this was even happening”, so it’s good to finally have someone in my corner who sees all of the confusion in this for precisely what it is: confusion.

If I could work, I would. There are many jobs out there that I would like to do… if I could do them. I made peace with being disabled several years ago, and it was a process. I know my body and I know my limits better than anyone, and I would appreciate it if more people actually respected this in the long term…

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