Posts Tagged ‘life’

Going through my most recent entry in more detail.

I’ve begun to open my mind up more to the idea of living somewhere else, preferably in a roommate sort of situation so that things like rent and utilities could be shared. If something like that fell into my lap, I would give it some serious consideration if it were in the right state and there were easily accessible supports and services for disabled individuals. It would be even better if the area in question had a great public transit system or we just happened to live somewhere that allowed us to walk to meet the majority of our goals. Having a low crime rate would be ideal… something that’s lower than the average crime rate of our current location. If I can find something like that, or if — as stated — something falls into my lap, I would give it more consideration. Right now, I’m leaving all of my options open although I’ve made it increasingly clearer that I would not be comfortable inheriting my parents’ house. I don’t think it would be an ideal thing for any of us.

I would actually love to live in a city that I didn’t just plain have to feel apprehensive about.

Just giving things some more thought here, I guess.

Some people think that I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth when I say something like this, but I’ve given it a lot of thought and have decided that in an ideal situation (excepting potential or imminent homelessness), I would not like to inherit my parents’ house as they had previously planned. It’s actually something that I don’t want to do to the tune of feeling out other living situations should my dad pass at any point… and, I mean, he’s pushing seventy, so this is definitely something that I need to continue thinking about. Although it was suggested that I could inherit the house and get a roommate after my father died, I thought about that and realized that it would solve none of the problems that I continue to have with the idea of inheriting this.

One of my primary concerns is the crime rate of this city. It’s an anomaly in that it averages a score of between D to F on most crime aggregate sites, whereas the cities around it have much less crime. I’d like to live in a city that’s safer, and I’d like to raise my kids in a city that’s safer. When you question the safety of walking around the neighborhood without being covertly armed because of the crime rate in your city, that might be when you start to question continuing to live there. There’s also the fact that I do not want to continue to live in or raise my kids in a state with values so opposed to my own, being a lifelong leftist living in a Republican stronghold. If I can get out of that at any point, even if it is with the death of my last surviving parent, I would leap at the chance. This state hasn’t expanded Medicaid, either… that’s a problem.

In addition, I don’t have very many friends that continue to live in this area. Most, if not all, of them have moved. They might have moved for the same reasons that I’d like to. Maybe they moved for other reasons.

The only disability supports that are here in this state are ones that are federally mandated. That means a lot, because they dramatically improve the quality of life of those who are disabled. Talking with citizens of this state on the governor’s Facebook page has said a lot about what these citizens think of poor, disabled people… and that’s another thing that I’m growing increasingly more uncomfortable with. Disability does not equal being a burden. Needing, and accepting, help is not a bad thing. Your worth is not tied to your work.

There’s also the fact that everything costs a lot here, and that pales in comparison to the opportunities here.

There are so many reasons why I’d like not to inherit this house, and why I’d love to be able to move away.

I still don’t have any Google PageRank on this.

I’ve been reading about any new metrics that the behemoth known as Google PageRank could be using, or has been using, in the hopes that I can raise this blog’s PageRank for future endeavors (even though, apparently, a sign that it might have started to be noticed by Google is an influx of spam comments… and, I mean, I do get those). It honestly seems like blogs in general, particularly self-hosted blogs, are not quite as popular as they used to be maybe even ten years ago, even though I didn’t feel like I could actually write anything of substance in a public blog due to the fact that members of Bub’s paternal family were actually cyberstalking me online. So far, I continue to monitor the Google Analytics that is embedded in this blog to ensure that hits from two very specific locations do not come up. If they do, I will go through my view history to find the IP of those hits, block them by 403, and continue to block any subsequent hits to those locations for as long as it takes until the message that I am attempting to send becomes clear. It might already have become clear now that they know that I am running an internal tracker behind all websites that I use (or that I did), or the fact that the state would not actively pursue child support in Bub’s case citing safety reasons that stemmed from his paternal grandmother for the longest time until those safety issues had to shift to his father and his paternal grandparents. As stated, I may address those… issues in a password-protected post.

It still boggles me that I can’t, at least, easily get a PageRank of one just by writing here as much as I do.

In case it actually needs to be said here…

There are certain things beyond what I have already mentioned in here that I… haven’t mentioned in here, that I may later write about under the protection of a password-protected post. Some of the people who already know me might be aware of these things, but they weren’t things that I wanted to write about within the confines of a completely public post because anyone who had my blog URL or stumbled across my blog could see them… but that is also the reason that I don’t use any of our real names in this blog, or on social networking sites with public contents. I’m also careful with what I do disclose. I still haven’t figured out the best way to approach writing about… what I’ve mentioned for the purposes of writing in this blog, although that may come with time. It’s something that is going to have to come with being thought about.

To lighten this post up a little bit, here’s a cute picture of Bub sitting on top of pillows.

I shouldn’t have had to fight like this, but…

Enforcement on Bub’s child support case should be, and stay, ceased.

I shouldn’t have had to fight state agencies on this on this like I did, but that was what it came down to. I wound up having to divulge things that I hadn’t really talked about until that point, especially recently… but they were necessary to paint the picture of why enforcement of his child support order would not be safe for either one of us. I wound up having to contact my state’s low-income legal aid service, letting them know what was going on, although I may not need their services if the good cause waiver for his child support case was and stays approved. I’ll be sure to let them know how things are going, or have gone, at the point of our next contact. And having sent an e-mail to one of my state’s HHSC’s internal e-mail accounts also helped expedite matters, but I think I’ve already mentioned beginning to correspond with HHSC’s family violence program specialist. At that point, and at this point, I wasn’t willing to put up with the refusal of a good cause waiver when one had been on his case since 2014, and I didn’t want to have to relive certain… traumatic events that had occurred, even though I wound up having to do exactly that to have new good cause forms filled out (twice for Bub! because the first one that the domestic violence specialist submitted to HHSC was denied, even though approval of those are supposed to be at the discretion of the domestic violence specialist, not HHSC themselves). At the end of the day, I did what I had to do to protect my child.

I did what I had to do to protect myself as well, because I do not need any further interactions with members of my children’s paternal families, and lack of enforcement on their child support orders minimizes this risk.

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