Until the next time.

Or I actually need it for my asthma or my migraines.

The list goes on.

At any rate, while on prednisone I managed to contract food poisoning or some kind of stomach infection… and if there is one thing that I can not stand, it is the feeling of nausea. I can cope with varying degrees of pain just fine. I can cope with nausea a lot less handily. I guess we’re two for two now in this whole “prednisone caused something that probably would never even have happened in the first place were it not for prednisone”. I don’t think I would have gotten the Staph infection on my leg that I did were it not for prednisone allowing it to become opportunistic enough to become a wound. And I’m almost completely certain of the fact that I would not have come down with food poisoning or whatever stomach infection I continue to work through were it not for actively being on prednisone at the time that it had taken hold, because my diet isn’t that varied. I also don’t eat anything that is raw or hasn’t been maximally cooked.

Weirdly enough, another feeling I can not stand is being too cold or too hot when I am trying to go to sleep.

But I swear, I want this to be one of the last times that I will have needed prednisone… for good.

I’ve begun to open my mind up more to the idea of living somewhere else, preferably in a roommate sort of situation so that things like rent and utilities could be shared. If something like that fell into my lap, I would give it some serious consideration if it were in the right state and there were easily accessible supports and services for disabled individuals. It would be even better if the area in question had a great public transit system or we just happened to live somewhere that allowed us to walk to meet the majority of our goals. Having a low crime rate would be ideal… something that’s lower than the average crime rate of our current location. If I can find something like that, or if — as stated — something falls into my lap, I would give it more consideration. Right now, I’m leaving all of my options open although I’ve made it increasingly clearer that I would not be comfortable inheriting my parents’ house. I don’t think it would be an ideal thing for any of us.

I would actually love to live in a city that I didn’t just plain have to feel apprehensive about.

Some people think that I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth when I say something like this, but I’ve given it a lot of thought and have decided that in an ideal situation (excepting potential or imminent homelessness), I would not like to inherit my parents’ house as they had previously planned. It’s actually something that I don’t want to do to the tune of feeling out other living situations should my dad pass at any point… and, I mean, he’s pushing seventy, so this is definitely something that I need to continue thinking about. Although it was suggested that I could inherit the house and get a roommate after my father died, I thought about that and realized that it would solve none of the problems that I continue to have with the idea of inheriting this.

One of my primary concerns is the crime rate of this city. It’s an anomaly in that it averages a score of between D to F on most crime aggregate sites, whereas the cities around it have much less crime. I’d like to live in a city that’s safer, and I’d like to raise my kids in a city that’s safer. When you question the safety of walking around the neighborhood without being covertly armed because of the crime rate in your city, that might be when you start to question continuing to live there. There’s also the fact that I do not want to continue to live in or raise my kids in a state with values so opposed to my own, being a lifelong leftist living in a Republican stronghold. If I can get out of that at any point, even if it is with the death of my last surviving parent, I would leap at the chance. This state hasn’t expanded Medicaid, either… that’s a problem.

In addition, I don’t have very many friends that continue to live in this area. Most, if not all, of them have moved. They might have moved for the same reasons that I’d like to. Maybe they moved for other reasons.

The only disability supports that are here in this state are ones that are federally mandated. That means a lot, because they dramatically improve the quality of life of those who are disabled. Talking with citizens of this state on the governor’s Facebook page has said a lot about what these citizens think of poor, disabled people… and that’s another thing that I’m growing increasingly more uncomfortable with. Disability does not equal being a burden. Needing, and accepting, help is not a bad thing. Your worth is not tied to your work.

There’s also the fact that everything costs a lot here, and that pales in comparison to the opportunities here.

There are so many reasons why I’d like not to inherit this house, and why I’d love to be able to move away.