As I prepare to resume streaming, I’m noticing a modest uptake in the amount of seizures I have.

This appears to be something that I am just going to have to deal with and work around. Almost all of them occur during the night, but I always have an aura with them (or a period of time that I feel like absolute shit and proceed to wonder about the cause or causes of instead of going right to my medical history on the first try). And I am on medication for them. My care team is obviously aware of them. As long as they stay within the parameters of the predictable patterns they’ve been having, there’s no need for anyone to panic or be concerned about my health… even though I know that my friends, being my friends, may at least worry a bit.

Still, at the moment, it is ironic in a screwed up way. I had reorganized the gaming computer’s desk and was neatening the wires when it happened and I blacked out, and when I came to I’d thought that only a few minutes had passed. No, it was 4:03AM in the morning. I’d gotten sleep before that taking naps as I am wont to during the day when I feel tired or… like something may happen, so my “sleep debt” isn’t that bad now…

I’m wondering if a medication I take to help me fall and stay asleep may help lessen the seizures I have?

For the most part, the coughing seems to have resolved itself.

However, it doesn’t seem like the beta blocker that I was prescribed for the heart issues that are finally being taken seriously is working… at all, because my blood pressure and pulse on metoprolol is now for the most part what it was before I even began metoprolol. But since I don’t acutely feel the “squeezing” that was going on in my chest — the squeezing that had, and has, nothing to do with anxiety because early-onset heart problems are extremely heritable on my mother’s side of the family — I’ll chalk that up to a narrow win and continue to bide my time waiting for my cardiology referral and primary care physician’s request for more detailed testing to go through, hoping that it goes through sooner rather than later to change this med.

So I was put on a beta-blocker for my cardiac issues and referred to a cardiologist, which wasn’t an entirely bad thing… the fact that I have cardiovascular issues that are starting to be recognized isn’t, anyway, because I have a strong family history of early-onset heart disease on my mother’s side. I have been coughing nearly constantly since that started even in spite of taking all the cough medication I safely can. And then I found out that people with bronchial asthma are generally not supposed to be prescribed beta blockers, even cardioselective ones in cases where the bronchial asthma is definitely not mild. This explains why I have literally been coughing for more than a week now. It tracks. If I can get through to my primary care doctor’s office next week, I’m going to be calling them, explaining the coughing thing (which I had intended to do earlier, but I had hoped that it would ride itself out and that this medication would still be viable), asking to be prescribed a different medication, and asking where the hell the second prescription I was supposed to be on for my heart went because I clearly heard “two prescriptions” while I saw him.

This cough needed to go away yesterday though, as my voice has faded in and out and I am just over it.

I got a referral to cardiology after probably needing one for years when albuterol and prednisone started to cause more problems than they were repairing, and I was put on a beta-blocker and a separate medication intended to help keep me from going into an abnormal arrythmia (and definitely to keep me from having palpitations). Those are supposed to help tide me over until I can get in with cardiology, although I am welcome to a return visit in the event that they… don’t, and we need second-line treatments along with or instead of first-line treatments. All in all, I am happy for this because I felt like people had the impression that thirty-somethings can’t actually have heart problems, even though my own mother had heart problems at this age and hers contributed to her death. She wasn’t on Hospice long enough to have someone be able to come by and turn her implanted device off because she died three days after being put on Hospice, having an oncologist honestly think he could substantially ameliorate the worst grade of lung cancer there is, and her heart came to a full stop in spite of that thing being set to repeatedly shock her (“back to life”) at the end.

Welcome to the jungle, I guess. The things that I said years ago about our… lack of… relationship are still true.

I’d still like to move out of Texas at one point, though. Standard operating procedure for treating angina isn’t even being followed here and I have to ask for it, supposing that I even get it, due to my age. I didn’t know that congenital heart problems had, or have, an age, but go off. Isn’t the whole point of this “early-onset”?