02
Feb
2021

I mean, this was kind of obvious here, but…

categories: television shows; word count: 258 words

I’ve decided that whenever I finish Supernatural on Netflix, as soon as the final episode rolls about I am going to fast forward all the way to the end where Sam finally reunites in Heaven with Dean after having gotten to live the rest of his life out. But due to… everything about the final episode, I’ve been ignoring Supernatural (and even Netflix) like the plague. I’ve had time to finish the series out, which I am at some point, but the final episode was handled so badly that I am actively avoiding it now. Go figure. But technically I will have watched every episode of Supernatural, even though I intend on continuing to ignore the final episode. The people that (sometimes continue to) call it “the perfect ending” continue to confuse me.

Like I said, I’ll continue to be active in the fandom, but I don’t want to give it another watch.

After I’m done with Supernatural, I think I’m going to start on Lucifer or The Walking Dead… I need to check and see if that last one is (still?) on Netflix, although I think it is. One of the good things about starting Lucifer now is that it doesn’t seem to have quite as many episodes as The Walking Dead, although I’ll need to check on that and that won’t actually influence my decision that much. It’ll just make it easier to get through (heh).

However, I intend on watching CW shows as little as possible given their track record of doing what they do.

31
Jan
2021

I mean, I’ve put the effort out here, folks.

categories: personal; word count: 274 words

Soon I may be able to get the flu shot, which is useful even coming up to early February.

Key word, though: soon. And possibly, since taking prednisone for asthma contraindicates me while I am actively on it and for four full weeks after the date of last dose. Over the course of this pandemic I have honestly tried as hard as I could to stay off of prednisone, and I have had varying degrees of success depending on where in the year we have been at. I have certainly put substantially more effort into this.

If I can stay off of prednisone for more than four weeks, I may also be able to get the COVID-19 shot expedited due to the severity of my asthma since I’ve been told that I fall under one of the classes required to get it sooner than the general adult population… 1B, or something to that effect. I’m willing to get all recommended vaccines as long as I can tolerate them in that I am not, for whatever reason, contraindicated from them. Almost everyone else that I know is current on all of their vaccinations, at least the recommended ones, so I feel somewhat confident being protected by herd immunity… even though I’m aware that as various people enter my “bubble” when I do have to leave the house that they, for whatever reason, may not be up to date on their vaccines. I consider it a blessing that all I have to get is the annual flu shot and, whenever I am able to, the COVID-19 vaccination. Looking at you really hard right now here, prednisone.

30
Jan
2021

My history with depression to diagnosis.

categories: personal; word count: 423 words

To delineate before I get further into this, I did not experience postpartum depression with either pregnancy.

It can be safe to say that my body did not, and does not, like even the idea of being pregnant… and although I would not trade either of my sons for the world, my body’s abhorrence at pregnancy goes beyond the normal difficulties that someone who is or can get pregnant might face. In my case, depression was more subtle and did manage to sneak up on me before I knew for a fact that it was actually depression. After my youngest son’s birth, I found myself participating less in activities that I normally would, such as hobbies and interests. This was even when I could do so or would have had the time to do so. I kept making excuses about how busy I was, having two young children and all, but my difficulty engaging in these hobbies and interests even after both boys had gone to bed for the night continued to grow in intensity until I was nearly always making excuses not to do the things that I formerly enjoyed and had quite a long history of liking.

This was the primary symptom for me, as well as not really having any “high moods” to speak of.

When my old neurologist put me on 20mg nortryptline to see if that would help with my migraines, it had a positive effect on my anxiety levels and my mood. I made an appointment to be seen by my primary care physician to discuss this with him and have him rave him raise the dose, which he did to 50mg and then at my request to 100mg. I will actually be trying the 100mg the next time I can fill for this med. Taking this medication, I’ve been less anxious, and my moods have generally been markedly more positive than they were rather than “flat”. In addition, I have been able to sleep better than I was. I’ve also begun to want to resume participation in hobbies and interests of mine, particularly once the kids are in bed for the night and I can have some “me time”. I don’t see a problem with depression or being candid about it, and I do wish that there weren’t this stigma around mood disorders or accessing care for them. In the United States alone, it’s still an extremely bad thing in certain circles (“you can just tough it out, you should just tough it out”, so on).

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