This was another one of my jams while I was in high school and for the resultant few years after graduation.
Music Monday: January 24th, 2022
categories: music; word count: 21 words
Tomorrow it’s Dean Winchester’s birthday.
categories: television shows; word count: 61 words
I may no longer consider myself an active member of fandoms or actively participate in them (and wow, was that ever a sentence), but I still like Supernatural. I don’t think I’ll be tuning into the prequel or the planned podcast, though. Carry on my wayward son, there will be peace when you are done… I got off of the ride.
Here we’ve got Omicron, screwing up more shit.
categories: personal; word count: 207 words
Since more and more hospitals are going back to doing only necessary surgery, the work-up for severe diastasis recti that I was undergoing seems to have to be shelved. Since I don’t intend on having any more children, it wouldn’t have been a significant bother for me to undergo surgery to correct it, and I could lower my dose of prednisone if needed such that it would be as safe as it was ever going to be — assuming, of course, that I ever took it again, which I don’t want to because my body has finally gotten to the point where it can no longer manage oral steroids without sometimes significant problem. I mean, if they do it at any point during this pandemic, they do it. I’d ideally like it to be done as soon as possible so that I can get it done and heal from it, but if it’s not safe to do because COVID-19 cases are once again climbing and we have a mutation out there that more people are susceptible to… then I’ll wait. Even though I won’t like it…
And the saddest thing of all is that this could have been picked up on years earlier than it was even noticed.
So I did it. I quit the fandoms that I was part of.
categories: personal, television shows; word count: 271 words
Anyone who said “you can only quit fandom when you’re dead” has clearly not met me.
None of this was out of malice though, and I want to make that abundantly clear.
I realized that fandom participation, even — perhaps especially — amongst those who shared common television shows or pairings with me was becoming increasingly more detrimental to my mental health. Being an admin on a Supernatural fandom and meta server, and doing the things that come with that and were supposed to bring me joy and satisfaction, was becoming increasingly more detrimental to my mental health. Something that was supposed to bring me joy and satisfaction was making me depressed and sad. I decided that I would no longer engage in things that actively contributed to these states of mind, so I “tendered” my resignation from fandom as a whole, quit Discord servers related to said fandoms, and exited Facebook groups for the same. This was kind of like what I did when Bub was like… all of two years old, I was active in fandoms, and then I decided that I didn’t want to participate in them so I simply dropped off of their maps and wasn’t really missed (which made me happy because I didn’t want to draw attention to myself doing this, although my presence in recent fandoms was such that I didn’t have a choice with it).
I don’t want to be asked questions about this or told that I could have handled matters differently.
In fact, I am actually already feeling better, so I know that this decision was the right one for me to make.