I didn’t quite think I would come back to this, but…

Fandom has given me yet another reason not to want to actively participate in it, as though I needed more.

Through the friends that I continue to have in the Supernatural fandom, I’ve learned about a girl named Amber who is convinced that Misha Collins (actor who plays Castiel from seasons four through fifteen) is her “twin flame”, which amounts to true love… or something like that. Having met him once at a convention, she’s proud of the fact that she has since Tweeted him more than five thousand times — I’m sure he’s muted her at this point, or someone that handles him or his social media has. I know that would drive me out of my mind if I were him. She’s also sent him… perverse and sexually graphic Tweets over the course of these last six months alone, and her Tweets have taken on a definite stalkerish tone that has made everyone who has read them uncomfortable. All major conventions know about her and she is not allowed to attend them. Jared and Jensen’s bodyguard — Clif — knows about her in case she does manage to show up to something. Misha’s handlers and security know about her. Misha himself knows about her. This is the point to which it has gotten. But the worst thing of all? She’s lost custody of her three children over the severe, untreated mental illness that she is exhibiting with all of this, and she doesn’t seem to care one bit that she’s done so.

Most recently, she destroyed her phone in a fit of rage after Misha posted video footage to his social media accounts of him hanging out with fans after the premiere of the newest show he’s on, Gotham Knights. She may also have harmed herself in the process. These are in no way actions that a rational, sane individual would take, and although I want her to get help for herself so that she can be back to herself and regain custody of her children (if that is even a possibility at this point), I don’t know if that’s something that is even possible at this point because she is so far gone and seems so resolutely unwilling to seek actual help…

People like her exist on the periphery of some fandoms, and they make me not want to participate in them.

They make me not want to show up to conventions or other gatherings to celebrate things that we all like.

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