12
Jul
2020

Well… here goes nothing, right? Hope for the best?

categories: personal; word count: 283 words

After waffling on it for practically forever (even though I formally joined The Satanic Temple a few months ago), I put in an application to affiliate with my “local chapter”. And when I say this, what I really mean to say is the one that is the closest to me geographically since there is no actual chapter in my city. I’ve been a member of the “Friends of…” group on Facebook for awhile and made a few comments that have gone over well, so at the encouragement of friends and fellow Satanists I decided to try my luck with formal affiliation with my local chapter. Hopefully I hear something good back from them — that can take them a few weeks.

I was honest in the application and I did let them know that certain in-person events may have to… have Bub be worked around, because I’m the only caregiver who can competently chase him in the event that he attempts to elope from a situation, not to mention being the only one who consistently knows his cues and triggers. But there are still a lot of things that I can do online! I wouldn’t be the worst in the world at managing social networking pages, or as evidenced by this, even running a blog. I do know how to set up self-hosted WordPress like it’s no one’s business. Literally. So I can do a whole lot of things online as long as I have migraine medication on hand and my sunglasses depending on how long I need to use the computer or how long I have been using the computer. There are workarounds for this. I just need to find and use them.

11
Jul
2020

I’m an adult now, everyone! I actually have credit!

categories: personal; word count: 340 words

Again, I am not being paid any money to make this post. These are just my opinions.

Remember how I mentioned using Kikoff to build credit since I’m… well, an adult, as old as I am, and have absolutely no credit? Well, as of this month I actually have credit? It’s only 614, but that’s better than the credit scores of a lot of people right now, and that’s definitely better than nothing. So I am very happy with this. That is actual proof that Kikoff reports to all three major credit bureaus in the United States. In a weird way, this makes me excited. On down the line, I might actually need to use this credit for whatever reason, even though I strongly prefer to pay up front for whatever we may need. I don’t like being “on the hook” for things and owing for them, especially if it’s a lot of money. And given that Millenials and Gen Z kids are less likely than ever to own their own home, let alone have their heads “above water” in the financial sense (thanks for that, Boomers… no, literally, thanks for that), having that mindset isn’t exactly a bad thing, heh.

Meanwhile, with bits and pieces of my economic stimulus check I’ve been adding to Baby’s First Altar, although if I have to be anywhere else in the house where Bub could in theory get to it I put everything where he can’t reach it. And given that he likes to hide certain things from me out of some peculiar sense of enjoyment, I’m keeping more smaller important items in my actual purse or carry-on bag. I’ve also gotten myself some nail polish “to spoil myself”, and I even bought myself some cyberlox because these are just me.

For some reason, Bub saw fit to take his emotion flash cards and hide them behind his brother’s bed. He also hid the key guard to his AAC device behind there. I found both. Why, Bub, why? Why must you do the thing?

10
Jul
2020

Times this doctor took me seriously: 0

categories: personal; word count: 402 words

Bub would not leave some of the items that are a part of Baby’s First Altar (as I jokingly like to call it) alone, so now I have to put certain things out of reach when I know that I’m going to be running errands and he could sneak into my room long enough to… do things that he should not be doing. He is not amused about that, but I am also not amused at the fact that the garbage disposal and some of the pipes leading from it out of the house — not many, thank goodness, but some — had to be removed and cleaned because he stuck things down the garbage disposal thinking that it was funny. We had a long talk about how he needs to leave other people’s belongings alone, not to touch them unless he has been granted permission to do so (and “Baby’s First Altar” does not mean that he has carte blanche permission to muck about with things, especially if doing so means that he can damage them), and to please, please leave the garbage disposal alone, especially because this is not the first time that he has done this. He has a knack for shoving things down it right before he goes to bed, and then it gets used that following morning, and crunch. Why, child?

I am also no longer on the inhaled steroid that was causing me issues because my insurance would not cover the nebulized one that… wasn’t. Instead, we are trying a twice-daily actuated inhalation that also replaces the one that I was nebulizing. Because of the pandemic, we also want me to stay off of prednisone unless I absolutely can not avoid it. So because people, and politicians, could not and can not commit to staying at home to ride this out until it is much less of a concern, we had to make this decision for me. Sigh.

I see my neurologist later on this month, which I am not a fan of. Not only did she upend my prior neurologist’s plan of care for me, but she passively-aggressively charted it in my medical files. If it were easy to change to a new neurologist, I would do so. Depending on how future check-ups go, I may actually consider changing to the pain management clinic in this city and see if they can completely take on my care.

09
Jul
2020

I’d like to see Facebook replaced, please…

categories: personal; word count: 263 words

I’ve already said it a few times, but Facebook needs to stop being the popular monolith that it is. Popular and well-known activists and advocates have found themselves getting reported and punished with “post blocks” with increasing frequency, escalating to account deactivations, while the people who need to have comments and posts taken down and their accounts deactivated are allowed to say nearly whatever they want (Facebook literally takes action once in a blue moon) without consequence. You can’t even contact them about this, and if you try to contact them about it on other social media sites that they use — like Mentioning them on Twitter — they completely ignore it because it makes them look bad, and acknowledging that they do it makes them look bad. They literally pretend that it doesn’t even happen.

And you conveniently can’t actually talk to a person to try and appeal these post blocks, and sometimes Facebook arbitrarily decides that you can’t “appeal” them. When I was most recently post and comment blocked for thirty days, I wasn’t even shown the comment that “violated” their terms and services… until a week after I was allowed to post and comment again. Miraculously, it then showed up, and it claimed that “Facebook could not prioritize an appeal”, even though I had not even been allowed to appeal the post and comment block to begin with. So on top of this, they lie about everything that happens to justify the block.

When Bub and I played Animal Crossing more, this made it a lot harder to use the Stalk Exchange.

08
Jul
2020

I need better subject lines here, I really do.

categories: personal; word count: 514 words

One of the things that I did with my economic stimulus payment is go ahead and get myself a pair of prescription sunglasses made that I intend on keeping the frames of for as long as these frames are willing to last me… so basically, for as long as possible. These should help with my migraines, because at the very least they will give me the option of being able to put them on and still see whenever things get too bright for me (and let’s face it, having that option is always comfortable whenever I’m having a migraine). Before, it was either “put on my sunglasses and not be able to see because my vision really is that bad without my glasses” or “keep my glasses on and suffer because of the brightness of everything else”. I also got the kids some more books, another Lokai cause bracelet that had come out that Monster didn’t already have, and after reading Shiva Honey’s The Devil’s Tome, decided to make what I have affectionately begun to call “Baby’s First Altar” in my room since I got a The Satanic Temple flag, hung it up, and Bub has been intrigued in a good way by it ever since. You can’t make this kid like what he doesn’t like, which he inherited from me.

I think all I have to do is quote this part of the summary of The Devil’s Tome:

The Devil’s Tome: A Book of Modern Satanic Ritual explores non-theistic Satanic ritual as a means for healing, empowerment, and community building.

I always take small steps, especially when it comes to the kids. Why not start with just an altar?

Nice candles (that we will not be burning for now, because reasons… Bub), to include tealight, a small grimoire (“Baby’s First Grimoire”, even if baby now comes up to my chin), chakra stones, because they look nice, a chakra grid kit, crystal grid kit, and Metatron’s grid kit (since if Bub is having a meltdown, laying them out and naming them might help calm him down, and they are geometrically pleasing), some stones (this can be educational, and the same principle applies), and incense (that we will quite likely not actually light even though I have a few N95 respirator masks due to this pandemic, but it will still set the overall mood)…

And like I’ve said, Bub doesn’t do anything that Bub himself doesn’t want to do. There have been plenty of occasions where Bub hasn’t wanted to do something that I’ve wanted to do. Any interest that Bub conveys in something is organic. He has never been the kind of kid to convey interest in something because someone else has or is, which is actually something that I have fostered in him (and his brother) over the years. He just happens to be the considerably more stubborn child, which has made for “if I am interested in something, it is because I personally want to do this, not because anyone else wants me to do it or is making me do this”.

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