Why I left Internet fandoms, part two… I guess.

I’ve seen some things on Twitter that interested me enough in the way of making this post.

It’s been… a month and some change (I honestly haven’t kept track) since I made the conscious decision to step back in fandom activities, to participate in fandom a lot more passively, and I do honestly have to say that it continues to be the right decision. It had gotten to the point where I did not enjoy any of them, even interacting with those who held the same views as me, and I knew that I was making myself do more than I could reasonably extend myself to do. I didn’t want to commit myself to going at warp speed, and continuing to do so, for any of the things that someone would reasonably consider myself a member of the fandom of. Compounding that was the fact that I am not comfortable meeting many people from the Internet in real life, which almost seems expected — I would have found it to be extremely awkward to discuss the intricacies of fandom with someone that I’d originally met on the Internet. This is not and never will be my forte. And coupled with that was the fact that up until recently, and as a general rule, I did not mix fandom with real-life activities. This was a hard no. With the exception of one person, that stays off of my Facebook account.

I also don’t appreciate being told how to live my life, or being given “good advice” (in bad faith) about how I should live said life, even if it’s by people who are supposed to be “on my side” or my friends. If people are going to do that and tell me what they think I should do — key word there, tell, not ask — and plan the next five or ten years of my life out, the least they can do is pick one or more of my bills and actually pay them for me. That will get my attention. But getting back to what I was saying, there was also the fact that people in fandoms tend to take things much more seriously than I ever have or do, and this became intrusive as it related to my real life and things like how I parent my children (someone scoured my Twitter to find out that Bub is on medication as per advice from his care team and stated that I “drug my kids”, so I must be a “bad parent” or something). That was kind of rich since it came from people who will never get to know me on an intricate, intimate level, let alone meet any of us in real life. My social networking sites are only snapshots of me as a person, and I feel like a lot of people would do better in general if they actually remembered this.

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