Along with my tarot deck, I own an intentions (“oracle”) deck, and I am so excited simply to own this.

In addition to having a few tarot decks, having come by them over the years, I have an intentions deck.

I’ve used it once already and I do have to say that it fulfills a purpose. I like it a lot, from the pictures that are on one side of the cards to the actual writing on the other side of the cards. Given the opportunity, I think I’m going to take pictures of the deck and post them up here because… well, why not? And in addition to that, I have The Devil’s Deck, which is a deck of cards meant to go with Shiva Honey’s The Devil’s Tome, which I continue to look at and read passages from to this day as they relate to Satanic ritual. To me, it’s a lot more than just “being Satanic to make my parents mad” — one of them formally defected from their family’s (Mormon) religion, the other one is dead — or “doing it to be edgy”. I sincerely believe the things that are set out in atheistic Satanism, and the “found family” that I’ve found by communing with like-minded people has been tremendously helpful. I literally don’t know of any other, better way to put it. If I had become Catholic at the urging of Bub and his father’s family, I would have quit being Catholic for this. It wouldn’t have mattered if we were married and this caused us to get divorced, either. I never wanted to be Catholic in the first place, so I would have cut my losses and moved on authentically being the person that I was meant to be all along.

Truth be told, I’ve owned a tarot deck for the longest time. Our first tarot deck was gifted to me by a good friend, as he had joked that “I might need to have it on hand if (Bub’s paternal grandmother) shows back up on my doorstep”. I kept it around for sentimental reasons, and because it is a fully functional tarot deck.

The second deck that we acquired was one that I wanted us to have on hand to have a larger deck, and I managed to score one off of eBay for a considerable… dent in the normal asking price for that particular deck because I happened to find a seller that had taken a lot off of the normal asking price for it. Needless to say, I got us that tarot deck as soon as I saw that listing. That’s been the deck that we have generally used.

The third deck that we got, again, came from a friend. It was the official Supernatural Tarot deck.

I also got Bub a deck of his very own that is en route to us now because he continued to eye our decks.

Now I kind of want to begin making a bit of a habit out of collecting affordable oracle and tarot decks. I don’t know… there’s just something about them, and ritual Satanism, that draws me to them. I just like using them.

I know I’ve mentioned this, but this holiday pays homage to those who were victimized by superstition.

Bub’s father and his grandmother on that side of the family attempted to coerce me into converting to Catholicism, even going so far as to rush me into filling out forms for RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults). I was never once asked how I felt about religion, or their religion. Not once was I asked if I even wanted to convert to their religion. To this day, I still remember something that Bub’s paternal grandmother said to me — “everyone has their own journey to God”, or something to that effect. No, you just expected me to roll over and die, to convert to your family’s religion because it was your family’s religion because you were going to use it as the battering ram to control me, then you were going to use it as the means to shotgun wed me to your son to “erase the sin of our child being born out of wedlock”, and then you expected me to have child after child that I did not want because your religion forbade contraception. And when I died, as I would have due to the health concerns that I had that would have caused pregnancy to imperil me, “it would have been God’s will”, because all you would have seen me as would have been your son’s incubator.

Not once was I asked if I even wanted to attend the Masses and church functions that I was literally drug to.

I told your son that I did not want to attend these things, that I did not want to convert, and look where that got me. Look exactly how far that got me, until I outed myself to your (deacon? priest? pastor?), and the people that I needed to out myself to in order to extricate myself from the whole situation. I shouldn’t have needed to go nuclear to be treated with a modicum of decent human respect, and I should have been asked about these things long before it got to that point. I was victimized by everything that led up to that point…