This is actually something that I have heard gamer (gaming?) parents say.

It’s usually also the ones who state that “anyone who uses walkthroughs is not a real gamer, or not a good enough gamer,” so the two kind of go hand in hand. I try to avoid these parents if I see them “out in the wild”.

They literally say, with their mouths, that if their kids struggle in a game that they will not help them. Or some of them say that they will, but that they “won’t help them with the final boss, because they have to do it on their own”. Do you know what kind of message that might send your struggling kid, especially if they’re young? Not only do the kind of parents that say these things tend to… carry it over into other aspects of parenting, but this is a really fantastic way to make your child want to give up on gaming (which is another thing that these parents, the Patrons of Gaming, would probably seethe over if it happened in front of them).

Tell me though, what is so bad about helping your child when they need it?

What is so bad about helping your child when they need any sort of help from you?

Because that sends the message that they can come to you for help for any reason and that you will be there to help them no matter what. And this will achieve exactly what you want to achieve but are going about trying to achieve in the worst possible way — your child will remain interested in video games and might pass that interest on to their children. (Or, you could do exactly what you’re doing now, cause your child not to be interested in video games at all, and stop that with this generation. This is your call here…)

I can’t begin to tell you (or, more literally, write about) how many times I’ve encountered a parent who “doesn’t really know what their kids play,” even though in most cases they’re the one who’s bought the game for them. Most of the oversight is because they’re too busy working, so they buy whatever game their kid asks for, so I can kind of see why this happens… even though I wish that wouldn’t. I wish that more parents could, or would, take the time out to do at least a little bit more research into the games that their children own, especially the ones that they are actively playing, particularly the ones that involve online play — I’ve actually surprised parents by telling them that online play is not rated as interactions can not be controlled, only punished after the fact if someone breaks a rule in an online game, is reported, and is actually punished for breaking that rule. They seemed to think that online play was encompassed by the game’s ESRB rating.

Good things to do to get a feel for games for your child:
· check out the ESRB rating, of course, as this gives you a general idea
· Google the game and read the summary, as this helps even better
(as you can get a feel for whether or not a game is appropriate for your child if you have not bought it yet)
· read the back of the game if your child already owns it for a synopsis
· Go to Amazon and read the reviews for the game (this is where you’ll find the most honest assessments)
· ask gamer friends if you have any for critiques on the game
· know which games require online interaction and Google how that tends to go

Hopefully some of these tips can help, as not many of them take a whole lot of time!

I have actually encountered individuals who have stated that they “don’t want to have children because it would cut into their gaming time,” and the level of absurdity that it must take to make a statement like that and then proceed to follow through on it continues to perplex me to this day. It boggles my mind to the point that I actually wanted to come here and make a blog post about it, because there are actually people out there — for some reason, more males than females — who actually think like this. They are so… engrossed, and involved in gaming as a hobby that they absolutely do not want to have any children, because then they would have to step away from gaming, whether it be the console or the keyboard, to provide some level of care for these children. (Although I’m still not sure if this is better than those men out there who game and let their girlfriends or wives tend to the children while they spend hours at a time gaming. I mean, there’s also that to take into consideration, because that is a scenario that actually happens “after the fact”, as it were.)

For instance, I’ve actually had it said to me that I “shouldn’t have had children” (what?!) “because I’m such a good gamer that they take away from that” (are you serious?!), or “that it’s good that I stopped at two” (are you the arbiter of my childbearing decisions, seriously) “because any more would make it even more difficult for me to game” (no, seriously, do you hear the words coming out of your mouth). Some men that I have dated in the past have also stated that they “don’t want to have any children of their own with me” (good, because whether you like it or not, I’m stopping at two), “because that would make it even harder to game” (again, do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth). And these are actually worse than the ones that I’ve encountered in the past who have wanted me to have children of “their” own, who “don’t understand why I had kids with the men that I did, but won’t have any other children”… I mean, between my disabilities, my health conditions, and my own wants, you should have gotten in line sooner or considered finding someone else when you were in a relationship with me. I know what I want and I am not budging.

But seriously, it’s foolish to “decide not to have kids” because you want maximal gaming time.

To decide that you don’t want to have any children, or any more children than you already have, is one thing. It’s a respectable thing. But to decide that you don’t want any children at all because they take away from your gaming time is incredibly foolish… and it speaks volumes about you as a person that should be spoken.