Posts Tagged ‘life’

03
Jan
2021

I don’t think I’ve actually addressed this here.

categories: personal; word count: 235 words

Even though I… don’t believe in the existence of an afterlife, in the extremely small likelihood that I am wrong in that department (and this isn’t me holding out false hope as much as it is me “covering my bases”), I’ve joked to people and told them that I don’t want my mother to even recognize me. So far, to that end, I’ve actually done several things that I hope will cause my mother not to recognize me if there indeed is an afterlife or the capacity for one to be a ghost for any reason. They are all things that I would have done at some point in the future though, but doing them now is for a special reason. So far, I’ve done the following:

· gotten cyberlox for my hair since I’ve wanted to own, and wear, them for years
· dyed my hair another color, which I stopped doing when Bub was young for… some reason
· gotten rid of some of the clothes in my closet that I knew I would never wear again
· researched Satanism, outed myself as safely as I could as a Satanist, and began living my life like one

These are all things that are tangentially related to not wanting her to recognize me in any capacity.

So far, I think I’m doing good in that department. I’m going to love doing even more things in the new year.

02
Jan
2021

It was almost cathartic for me to do this.

categories: personal; word count: 341 words

When I was cleaning out my closet — see the entries referencing that if you would like — I noticed that I had a lot of clothing from my old two-year college. Since I wanted to make room in my closet and knew that I would never wear those articles of clothing again in spite of how well they may (or may not) have fit me, I decided to throw every single last one of them in the trash. I don’t have any good memories of actually attending that college even though I got a two-year degree from them. So it was cathartic in a way to get rid of those clothes knowing that I would never wear them again, especially given… where… they came from. I’m only in loose contact with one person that attended that college with me although we don’t really talk that much, but I haven’t kept in touch with the rest of the people that I attended with, and for very good reason…

But now that my closet is a lot easier to manage, I’m also thinking of throwing away the clothes that my (now late) mother got me as soon as I can find the time to do so and replace them with better clothes. Sure, they still fit me, so not much has changed in that department. However, they are not items of clothing that I would actually comfortably wear. It was like she was dressing for the version of a child that she did not have and would never exist, and as soon as I got to that section in my closet I could see it for myself. These were just things that I would never wear unless I literally and seriously did not have any other clothes to wear. She must have had it in her mind that I was someone who did not and would not exist, and that’s fine with me because she’s been gone since mid-2019. I don’t miss her, and I don’t think about her very often at all now.

01
Jan
2021

I mean, I still personally find this funny…

categories: personal, television shows; word count: 357 words

I still find it absolutely hilarious that the Supernatural fandom “got into it” with the individual who worked on special effects during the fifteenth and final season of the show. Although I won’t be quoting it here, he said something extremely homophobic and in poor taste about “Destiel” (the “ship” of Castiel and Dean Winchester, which is so popular and well-known that people who don’t even watch the show, who have barely heard of the show, know exactly what it is and why it is). It eventually got to the point where people stopped commenting to him because we could all tell that he began to do what he was doing for attention at some point, and after awhile I no longer wanted to waste my time trying to explain to someone that the original comment they had made was that homophobic and that much in poor taste. If I recall, it happened at around the time that Dean Winchester’s name began Trending on Twitter due to a leak of the script…

Speaking of Twitter, I have continued to hear absolutely nothing about the suspension of my first account on there. I’m guessing that I won’t hear anything at all regarding the suspension of that account, as I’ve heard from more and more people that sometimes Twitter suspends accounts (even if you are disagreeing with the nomination of who is now our Supreme Court Justice), and when you appeal it as is your right to, they simply ignore the appeal and all attempts at communication with them regarding the appeal. Like I’ve mentioned in previous entries, people have found out how to make subsequent accounts on their site when they blatantly do this, and it’s not actually that difficult to do. Maybe if Twitter would actually do what they are supposed to be doing in circumstances like these and reinstating the account in question or telling the account owner why they were not reinstating the account in question so many people would not be resorting or have resorted to ways to make another account on their website. I can completely look the other way on this one.

24
Dec
2020

When it’s not one thing, it’s always another.

categories: blog maintenance, television shows; word count: 309 words

I get the most peculiar spam comments.

It’s gotten to the point that if, and invariably when, I get spam comments, I use Sweep to get rid of them.

At any rate, not long ago the special effects “wizard” from the fifteenth season of Supernatural decided to start shit online that was pretty much all manner of +phobic. It got to the point where he quickly made it clear that he was reveling in the extra attention, so a lot of people backed off once they had seen for themselves that was actually the case. Since I don’t like taking comment and post blocks on social media sites, I kept all of my interactions with him civil even though they were not polite as he had not given me any reason to be polite to him. But he did respond to something that I posted about him regarding his failure to understand what virtue signaling really is, and he patronizingly called me “kiddo” in the comment back to me. I reminded him that I will soon be thirty-five years old and hardly a “kiddo” by the definition of the word, and he didn’t correspond with me at all after that point. I suppose it really is for the better that he didn’t…

And then there was the old stick of “kids don’t know what gender or sexuality they are!”. Not true.

This show practically ruined itself by the last three episodes, and the last episode of the series in particular.

Given that Supernatural started before I had either one of my children and was still able-bodied, it will obviously take me some time to “get over” this, assuming that I do at all. Many people invested a lot of their emotions into this show just for everything to go sour at the end, and I empathize with their frustrations.

13
Dec
2020

Why must you do the thing, WordPress…

categories: personal; word count: 261 words

Well, I tried to update this thing when WordPress told me that an update was available.

I wound up having to manually upload the update for it to take, although I was then able to re-install it after I had done that and it went through without a hitch. Something something “critical error”, it said to me…

For Christmas, among other things, Bub is getting a 400GB microSD card for our Nintendo Switch because he maxed out the 256GB one. I’m not sure whether I should be impressed or a bit frightened… maybe a little bit of both. That’s approximately one-fifth of the size of the hard drive in our PC laptop. And isn’t it ironic? He got the 256GB microSSD card last year. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s going to take him around a year to max out each card he’s given for the device. I’m probably going to give it to him before Christmas, like when it arrives, and re-download all of his games onto the thing so that he has access to all of them by Christmas.

I was also given some Madison Reed hair dye for Christmas in the color that I chose, and I’ll be writing about my experiences with that later. But for whatever it may be worth right now, the color that I chose on their website was rimini garnet (Rimini Garnet?). I wanted something deep but noticeably red, a bit Rowena MacLeod-ish. Her hair seems to be more coppery than this color though, but I like this color so here we are.

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