A child support payment was made for my fifteen-year-old, sent to the state on the third of the month.

I still have not recieved it and Monday will mark a full week that the payment has been accepted in their systems but not disbursed to me, and I can take screenshots of the child support portal proving all of this.

Meanwhile, I continue to attempt to make contact with my youngest son’s father’s church about the manner of his conception because him being allowed to continue to volunteer as the Head Usher raises legitimate safety concerns given that “our” son resulted from him forcing himself upon me in his city park (on October 3rd, 2009… when I tried to fight back against him) and this raises legitimate safety concerns because he is clearly unrepentant and I refuse to be the reason he forces himself onto someone else. I continue to be ignored and am in fear that he will do to someone else what he did to me and that she may not be brave enough to speak out about it like I’ve become. I was legitimately forged in the fire of my husband’s death.

In the face of the government shutdown, I am seeing so many people come out of the woodwork about SNAP benefits that it reaffirms my lack of faith in humanity and lack of desire to convert to Christianity.

SNAP fraud is less than 1% because the program is managed better than it was when I had to turn in my oldest son’s father for filing a fraudulent application alleging that he had sole custody of our son when a court order was just finalized barring him access to our son also not allowing him to claim our son as a dependent for any purposes, and when I had to turn in an ex-boyfriend’s mother for egregious SNAP fraud. This got both of them lifetime denials from public aid, which we found out about the hard way with Monster’s father when we found out that Medicaid was barred from covering any of his end-of-life costs for multiple reasons. The manner of his death and health conditions of his that came up on postmortem toxicology ruled out him donating anything of his, even organs, in his death and I do not blame Jefferson County for coming to that conclusion. I just quite literally blame them for everything else like having to harass the state of Kentucky for a year to find out anything at all about his death even though we were his family, all because they were afraid of getting sued. When they admitted what his injuries were they admitted that.

My friend Rea started expressing concern that she would not survive this presidency when Trump was re-elected, and now that she has succumbed to complications of Neurofibromatosis type 2, I wish I had taken her even more seriously than I had already taken her. I wanted to meet up with her at some point in time.