I’ve never been much of a fan of cop shows…

I may be one of the few Texans who… doesn’t like Walker (I didn’t even like the original while I was growing up, and I feel like that should say something), but it still managed to evade me for several days that Jensen Ackles is apparently going to direct an episode of Walker, which Jared Padalecki stars in. But to be honest, I’ve never really liked anything stereotypically “Texan” anyway, and it’s not out of a willful desire to reject everything that this state is even though there are some things that I really don’t agree with it on. It’s still up in the air whether I’m even going to get into The Boys since Ackles will join the cast as of season three — this upcoming season — as I don’t follow favorite actors of mine to new works (or even visit older ones) unless that would have been something that I would have liked in the first place. I’m just choosy like that.

Part of it may stem from the fact that extended exposure to light sources does give me migraines, so I have to compensate for it in ways such as taking pain medication as appropriate — Fioricet, which I try to take only as needed because it still does help to a greater extent than other medications have and I don’t want to lose that and have to try to find an equally as suitable medication that is not it — and wearing sunglasses indoors. I actually have two pairs of sunglasses dependent on the Sort of Day™ I am having. One has darker, more amber-colored lenses, and the other has slightly lighter, rose-colored lenses that I am hoping will allow me to be able to wear them more, shield my eyes, and shield my brain, because the darker the lens (and the more helpful it actually is, as it’s turned out), the more difficult it can be to do certain things wearing them.

Another thing I’m not big on: Texan Republicans — men — literally trying to mansplain my disabilities to me.

Opening the Floor: My Journey to Satanism

To be honest, this was a bit of an awkward journey that I went on, but I am pleased with the ending.

I began to see mention of Satanism on my social media feeds, especially as it related to The Satanic Temple‘s leftist works and the various people that they — rightfully — sued or attempted to sue. So I began to look into it, and part of that was me becoming emboldened by my absolute disgust with Catholicism (Bub’s father’s family’s religion, and the one that they literally tried to force me into. I found that I agreed with all of the tenets of The Satanic Temple, and I was generally off-put by the Church of Satan although I respect them and continue to respect them to this day… a Satanist is a Satanist, and we need all of the support we can get because of what society thinks of Satanists due to their lack of understanding. As I continued to read about The Satanic Temple, I realized that it was the perfect fit for me. Not long after, I became a member, began telling certain people that I am a Satanist — naturally, I don’t divulge this to everyone given the stigma — and began making like-minded friends. To put it another way, it felt like a part of my life that was missing had now been completed. There was a hole in my life that I didn’t know was there, and Satanism filled it. Satanism fills it. And I am so grateful, and so happy, for that. I think I’ll always be grateful and happy.

Opening the Floor: Acquiring a Formal Diagnosis

I’ve actually been asked this more than once, a small handful of times, and I don’t mind being asked about it or… well, most questions at all that I’m willing to answer in my blog. I’m as open as book as Rinoa Heartilly from Final Fantasy VIII for those of you who have played the game. Maybe that’s why I like her character…

But the question, so as no to sidetrack: would I ever pursue a formal autistic diagnosis?

I’ve given it a lot of thought, especially as I’ve become more comfortable identifying as an autistic person. If a doctor in my care team said something about it, I would not deny it (I would probably go the route of “I think I may be autistic as well”, especially as it relates to my children). If it helped me get disability benefits I would have the process worked up. My thoughts regarding this have by and far been passive though — if someone wants to work me up I am more than amenable to that. If someone in my care team calls me autistic or possibly autistic, that being their call, I would not deny it. However, I feel that I do not need the same supports that my children need, so it is not something that I would actively seek out at this time to the tune of calling my primary doctor, telling the receptionist taking the call that I thought I was autistic and would like to work the diagnosis up, that sort of thing. In other words, I am not extremely active or pro-active about it, although if having it thrust in front of me I would be agreeable to having it worked up. I hope I make sense!

Opening the Floor: Bub’s Very First 100% Game

The very first game that Bub and I played from start to finish was Namco’s Tales of Phantasia on the Gameboy Advance. I fondly remember bringing that thing — the Gameboy Advance, even in this era (Bub was born in 2010) — to both amuse him with it and to play an enjoyable game with him sans the ratio at which monsters attack you in the wild. I don’t think he minded that. He was probably a year or two old when we started this, because I was bound and determined to finish the game once and for all, and who better to do it with than the child of mine whose interest was peaked by things exactly like this? It was a win-win…

I also remember having to ask who was a boyfriend at the time for help with the plot as it related to acquiring a hidden character and then a skill that the final boss was weak against, but I also fondly remember curb-stomping the final boss straight into the ground with the Power of Bub™. Bub watched me defeat Dhaos, and Bub watched the ending. Defeating the big bad did not seem to bother him. It never does.

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