Archive of ‘television shows’ category

13
Sep
2022

Regarding some recent fandom drama I saw…

categories: television shows; word count: 284 words

The only reason that I saw it cross my Twitter timeline was because followers of mine and friends of mine (“moots”) were discussing it or interacting with it to the point that these posts were being elevated and suggested to me… regret number one, I suppose. That was my primary interaction and involvement with it, aside from mentioning that what I did see coming across my timeline made me extremely uncomfortable, continued to make me extremely uncomfortable, and justified why my interaction in fandom-related activities is as close to none as “little to none” can possibly get. I’m well within my rights to find these sort of conversations disconcerting and uncomfortable and want nothing to do with them, which is what I continue to do not participating in fandom experiences — it’s been a boon of mental health for me to have made the decision not to do so (and for my closest friends, such as Andy, was actually something they’d seen coming for months… the less neurotypical in question the friend was, the more they just intuitively understood it).

At this rate, I just hope that fandom as a collective whole continues to leave me alone. I’m not going to watch The Winchesters when it premieres because there’s nothing about it that interests me. If other people want to watch it I’m not going to make them feel bad over it, just as I wouldn’t want to feel bad with my… casual watching of most things (ask me how far I am in The Boys one of these days, I swear), but it’s just not something that I’m interested in. I’m not fascinated by John and Mary’s love story. I know enough about it.

17
Jun
2022

I don’t think I’m capable of doing fandom at all.

categories: television shows; word count: 341 words

There are shows that I want to watch, like Lucifer and The Boys — to name just two of them — that… for the life of me, I can’t commit to actually watching even though I could make the time for them after the boys have gone to bed and fallen asleep for the night. This seems to be why it was so easy for me to fall out of fandom in 2012, although that was more a matter of me pretending to like things that I did not actually like at all, whereas the decision to fall out of fandom this time was brought about because of the drama, negativity and toxicity that fandom circles have in them and the fact that I did not want to continue pretending to like something more than I actually liked that thing. At some point I suppose I’ll get around to it and watch the shows that I want to watch (oh, and The Walking Dead and everything that’s related to that), but it will be on my terms and on my own time. If I want to take a break I am absolutely taking that break.

Another amusing tidbit to note is that it actually took me several years to finish Supernatural, which I did on Netflix. I would drop it for six months here, a whole year here… it would just get to the point where I didn’t want to continue watching it, where I wanted a break from watching this television show, so I just took one. I didn’t get into the fandom for it until 2020 (which to this day I regret doing), but it had taken me at least several years to watch and finish the show, and by the time the finale had aired I was still catching up on episodes on Netflix. You know, I can kind of see why the few people I know in person who know that I like Supernatural have a hard time wrapping their heads around me liking it. That actually kind of amuses me.

03
Jun
2022

Boundary issues in fandom, online, and in general.

categories: personal, television shows; word count: 472 words

One of the reasons that I “left” (wanted nothing more to do with, distanced myself from, have not actively participated in anything having to do with, and am literally all the happier for having done so) fandom was the fact that boundaries were so routinely, cavalierly violated. If you blocked someone, meaning that you did not want to speak to them, that you did not want them to have access to their social media, they logged out of their own social media — especially if this was Twitter and you had a public account — to read what you had to say, and in some cases screenshot for their hate blogs (don’t even get me started on those, I could write a completely separate post on those alone, and I’m not going to do it now). If you attempted to assert boundaries and the other person didn’t feel like giving you the basic human decency of honoring them, well, that was that unless you wanted to make your whole social media account private. But they couldn’t make you participate in fandom, and they couldn’t make you “discuss meta” or talk about the thing — the object of fandom — that was causing all of this drama, and all of this strife, if you just didn’t want to. That was that.

Call it a convenient loophole. Call it whatever you want. It was honest, and it worked. It works. I like that!

On top of that, once I realized that I could not fake the level of interest and passion that people had for… the things that these fandoms centered around, further realizing that I did not want to continue to fake it, my mental health dramatically improved. I want to like things when I want to like them and be able to walk away from them when I need a break from them, not discuss them for twelve-hour benders or be available to do so more time than I’m willing to commit to. Anyway, getting back on topic… me not being willing to fake fandom any longer. This has meant that I’ve watched less television shows on Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime, but I’ve watched what I’ve wanted when I’ve wanted, and definitely at the pace I’ve wanted (so far I am watching the Evangelion movies since I grew up with the original anime, and I am in love with it).

At any rate, I’ve begun to notice that people are willing to violate boundaries on Discord as well.

If you block someone on Discord, you expect that they won’t be able to see what you write, and you won’t have to see what they write. What’s the point if they circumvent that to see what you write because they’ve developed some sort of obsession with you? What is it with people nowadays and respecting boundaries?

22
May
2022

Nope, I’m still not watching The Winchesters. Sorry.

categories: television shows; word count: 383 words

I watched The Winchesters trailer and was amused by portions of it, to include Carlos hitting the demon with the van in the manner that they did (“love tapped”, “double tapped”, “[…] the Scooby van”), and found that I liked their character a lot, but don’t feel like that — or even seeing Dean Winchester again, which was refreshing — was enough to get me to want to watch. I have friends who are interested in it, who are excited for it, who want to watch it, and I’m happy for them. But I intend on remaining extricated from what I like to call “active fandom” due to comments like this, something that I encountered because I’d seen people copy and paste it into their own Tweets responding to it, something that just floored me for a few minutes:

you can do whatever you want with ugly long haired dean but he will always be hanging off a rebar in akron ohio in the end

Things like these are literally why I had no fun in fandom when I considered myself an “active member” of it. I casually participated in GISH one year, and even that was too much for me — I felt like the expectations were more than I was able to meet, and I’m certain that I fell short in the eyes of my fellow group members. Although I love the idea of it, GISH was astronomically bad for my anxiety, and I know for a fact that I won’t be participating in it again. I frequently felt like I had to (and was) over-extend myself when there were days, and even weeks, when I wanted to walk away from the thing that people wanted to have hours-long discussions on — although I respected, and continue to respect, their interest in it, I was bad at feigning that same depth of interest on my own. I haven’t read a single fanfic in more than three months, and I haven’t rewatched a single episode of Supernatural, which used to be the fandom that I was the most invested in. It just hasn’t been something that I’ve gravitated toward or wanted to do. I also watched the trailer for The Winchesters only one single time. “Carry on, my wayward son… there’ll be peace when you are done…”

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