Archive of ‘personal’ category

29
Jul
2022

Men causing apprehension and anxiety, what’s new?

categories: personal; word count: 503 words

Mistake one: I return to the server that I mentioned quitting in here several days ago.
Mistake two: Having decided that it is no longer worth it to mask, I begin forming authentic friendships with some of the people chatting in the general channel on this server by talking about the necklace that a now-deceased friend had made for me (and identical copies mailed to other friends) after her passing to remember her by, knowing that she had made it clear that she did not mind this being discussed with other people because she wanted more people to learn about cystic fibrosis and sign up to be organ donors

One of the mods decided to attempt to corner me claiming that I “shared too much information” when I share about as much information in Discord channels as I share in this blog, the irony being that my current living situation does not permit and is not going to permit people from the Internet to come onto the property for any reason. I am an adult, and furthermore, I am comfortable with the amount of information that I share online. That being said, it is not up to you to determine what amount of information I should or should not share. And furthermore, it is highly inappropriate for you as a male to corner people — especially women — on the server as other people have nodded to you doing to mold them to your whims when they have broken a server rule or you feel that they have broken a server rule. Whether you admit it or not, and whether you even acknowledge it or not, this practice is abusive. Without warning, you indefinitely mute people when you feel they have broken a rule (and given your behavior, that is why I’m saying things like “you feel”) before dragging them into a separate channel to lord over them telling them things like “this is not up for debate”.

This is a Discord server, and you are taking things way too seriously attempting to assert dominance over women engaging in predatory behavior meant to cause apprehension and anxiety. I mean, seriously now? None of this behavior is friendly, nor will it get you any of the results you want long-term unless the results you want have anything to do with criticism of your (the server you moderate) server’s moderation team.

All I did was talk about the necklace that my now-deceased friend had made and sent to me to remember her by, and shared pictures of her that she had consented to and made public before her death before you went on your… how can I describe it? Passive-aggressive tirade? Is that just how you operate? If so, please leave me out of it. If writing this post gets me kicked out of the Discord server in question — or more, banned from it — I won’t be surprised. But this is my blog, and this is where I get to write about how I feel and vent.

23
Jul
2022

I’m thirty-six. I don’t abide by childish behavior.

categories: anime, personal; word count: 472 words

I found a streaming server that I decided to join.

For awhile I thought it was great.

And then the whole “I don’t want to be an active part of drama, and I’m going to leave situations that try to drag me into it” thing kicked in, because my blog and Twitter account make clear the fact that the friends that I had in high school and early adulthood were hacktivists, some of whom would later go on to… hack things in less than savory manners, several of whom would go on to become white hat hackers with very lucrative jobs, many of whom would make programming a hobby of theirs that they did in their spare time (which spawned the re-AOL project, as a matter of fact), and this snidely came up on that server even though the only relation that it had to this server was a hell of a stretch — I happen to have been in the same friends’ circle as Lamo, Adrian Lamo, the person who turned Chelsea Manning in for what she did. Almost all of us vehemently disagree with Lamo’s course of action, as does Julian Assange, and as do many hacktivists, even if Chelsea herself forgave him for what he did. But it is what it is. I did find it… interesting that he might have died a death related to kratom of all things though (I did read his Wikipedia article, heh).

At any rate, I decided to leave the server even though I met a lot of awesome people on it and made a lot of great friends. I was talking about the people that I grew up around with one other member of the server, and a mod made it clear that he didn’t like it — he deleted everything that the other person and I said, and he muted both of us. I don’t put up with childish behavior in places that are supposed to have adults on them, so without saying a word, I just quit the server. For better or for worse, I grew up with these people. Sometimes we don’t see eye to eye on issues, but for the most part, the majority of us act like adults most of the time now. We might not have when we were growing up and when we were young adults, but almost all of us do now, and I suppose that’s what matters. I’ve had to remind a few people that I am autistic and that they need to stop expecting me to conduct myself in a neurotypical manner — in other words, masking — but I have faith they’ll get with the program soon enough (maybe I should charge money for them doing it).

I’ve also been watching Evangelion on Amazon Prime now that I have that, and it exceeds my expectations.

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