Archive of ‘personal’ category

06
Jul
2020

And before I completely forget to mention this here.

categories: personal; word count: 289 words

By the way, I (“we”) eventually did get our economic stimulus payment… or as some people have taken to calling it, “coronavirus check”. I had begun to give up on it after awhile, after so many of my friends had already gotten their checks, checking on the Get My Payment tool daily just to see day after day that there was absolutely no information on it for me even though I had filled out the Non-Filer form with our information the day that the IRS uploaded it and gotten automated confirmation four hours after that stating that our Non-Filer form was approved. So finding out that I (“we”) were actually approved for it in the middle of June actually surprised me, because by that point I had actually begun to blow off the payment as something that had just been shoved under the rug, something that I was just not going to receive because so many of the non-filers had been forgotten about and there was no actual way to call IRS to ask about this… funny how they weren’t actually staffing their call centers, not even from home, to answer questions about this. Almost like they were running from how badly they botched sending these checks out, let alone in the right amounts, which is what I’m about to get to in this post, just for the sake of chronicling this in here.

I (“we”) got our base payment, but none of the dependent money, even though I have two dependents.

Typical.

Apparently this has happened to no shortage of people, especially those who filled out the Non-Filer form.

I mean, I guess I should be happy that we (eventually) got anything at all, but… really? Seriously, IRS?

05
Jul
2020

Before I completely forget to make a post on it…

categories: personal; word count: 411 words

My thoughts on ABA (“applied behavioral analysis”) for autistic children, in a nutshell:
· causes C-PTSD and PTSD in many autistic adults who were… exposed to this as children
· Pavlovian dog training, or the equivalent thereof, for autistic children
· what you try to do because you want a neurotypical child and not the autistic child before you
· what parents need to stop inflicting on their children in the way of “aspiring for a neurotypical child”
· the literal end goal of this is to “have a child that is indistinguishable from their neurotypical peers”
· “planned avoidance” is abuse and I don’t care what anyone neurotypical has to say about this
· some clinicians strike the hands of a child when they stim, “even gently”, to get them to stop
· “taking away an autistic child’s special interest to force them to comply” is literally abusing them
· forces compliance without teaching the autistic child why you even want them to comply in the first place

I think I’ve made my thoughts on how ABA is frequently (“almost always”) practiced clear enough.

Love your child for who they are. Aspire to help them be the best version of themselves that they can be.

Don’t aspire to have a neurotypical child, or a child “indistinguishable from neurotypical peers”, when you have a lovely autistic child before you. No matter who they are (did I say that functioning labels are bad?), they will catch on to the fact that you don’t think that they are good enough if you don’t think that they are.

Parents of autistic children focus so much on “curing” their autistic children, “making their children (not) autistic” that in doing so, they very frequently break the autistic child that they have before them. Like I said up above, there is a difference between wanting the child before you to be the best version of themselves that they can be, and to be a completely different child — not at all the actual child that you have before you. I’ll eventually get into functioning labels and how damaging they are over the course of another post, because that would take up a complete post in and of itself to dissect the… rightful problems that are with them, and then they wrap themselves up in being “martyrs to the cause” for their children’s struggles as well.

The question that I want to end with: why is all of this okay to do to autistic children? Only autistic children?

03
Jul
2020

It took me awhile, but I eventually succeeded.

categories: personal; word count: 181 words

Surprisingly, it took me longer than I had thought to find an old copy of Windows Movie Maker (which is just the easiest thing for me to use at this time because it doesn’t have that much of a learning curve… I grew up using it, and I’ll teach myself something more complex later) to download. Apparently it doesn’t come bundled with Windows any more — shocker, seriously — and to get the 2020 one you have to pay for it, which I don’t want to do right now. Maybe I’ll want to do that at a later date, I don’t know. Just not right now. It still confuses me a bit why a basic movie “maker” (editor) that used to come bundled free with Windows now doesn’t, and to get one you have to pa— oh, wait a minute, profit. Why didn’t I think of that sooner?

I am so excited that I can actually use our camcorder as it has been intended to use, though.

Also note that I’m not celebrating the Fourth of July here, but instead Juneteenth, until further notice.

02
Jul
2020

It is official! I have completely fixed the camcorder!

categories: personal, RPGs; word count: 250 words

I’m not sure how I did it beyond changing a few video recording settings on the actual camcorder itself (which, in the grand scheme of things, seems banal)… but now I can record video on it and effortlessly upload that video to our laptop without any problems at all, which makes me really happy because now this laptop is not only salvageable but completely functional! I’m not sure why I didn’t think to do this sooner, but changing minor and almost banal settings on the camcorder shouldn’t have been something that completely restored the video settings on the videos from… what they used to be, these large black and green blocks that were unsalvageable messes. Of course, like I said in one of my previous entries here, with the pandemic continuing to go on there probably aren’t going to be that many videos made until this is completely over and done with. As an asthmatic, I am at elevated risk of complications if I do contract this — the kids, being as low-risk as they are, could asymptomatically incubate it for up to fourteen days, and in that time period they could effortlessly pass it on to me with all three of us being none the wiser to the fact that it had happened (until, well, it did, because I would have next to no asymptomatic period with my health history).

Meanwhile, I still think Lightning Returns is just… weird. In a really weird sort of way. Weird. It’s just weird.

01
Jul
2020

Well, this may not have gone as it was intended.

categories: personal; word count: 301 words

My neurologist wanted me to try lisinopril to see if it changed the frequency and severity of my migraines in any positive way (lessening either). After working my way up from 2.5mg to the intended 5mg dose, maintaining that for a little while, and finding the side effects that I could feel tolerable, I then began to notice something that was not only possibly intolerable from a clinical standpoint but concerning. I was beginning to get a bit “puffy” in a manner not quite like prednisone (I know what prednisone “puffiness” feels like and when it occurs), having to urinate more, and I was beginning to gain weight in spite of that when my diet and exercise had not changed at all. After doing some research on the side effect profile of this medication, these are side effects that this medication can have, and the individual that generally has these side effects most likely discontinues taking the medication as a result of these for… well, whatever reason.

At first, I thought that things weren’t going too bad with this medication, and then… well, this. Heh.

“Well, this,” seems to be a staple of me describing this medication to varying individuals in my care team.

Well, this.

I don’t mind gaining some weight from taking certain medications if there is a net positive from me taking that medication — prednisone is perhaps the primary one here, and the primary reason for this — and I can put up with a lot of side effects from treatment if the end goal is me comparatively being healthier, feeling better, and being in less pain. But for lisinopril, gaining weight and “feeling puffy” are not desirable side effects from treatment. These are warier side effects that you have to alert your care team to, it seems like.

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