Archive of ‘personal’ category

Once upon a time, I made exceptions for men.

Remember that post where I said that I could write a post on making exceptions for men within the context of polyamorous relationships, dating monogamous men who were willing to “make exceptions for me”?

That post is here, and that time is now. I didn’t forget to make that post. I was always going to.

From the time that I began outing myself as polyamorous (or, initially, non-monogamous) all the way to my refusal to date monogamous men, there were times when I dated monogamous men who were willing to “make exceptions for me” within the context of a relationship where they were clearly monogamous and not willing to date or be in relationships with anyone else other than me, but were — or at least made it seem, because it never looked like it was any different from my point of view — perfectly alright with me dating and being in relationships with other men (although, for the record, my “comfortable limit” of relationships has always been two, although I would not be opposed to three if I were in two and the right person came along… I like to remind confused monogamous people that they tend to have more than two close friends).

At first, I was fine with this as long as the monogamous partner that I was with was fine with this.

However, as time went on, I became increasingly less fine with this, because I felt like the dynamic of each relationship where this happened was tilted toward me in a peculiar way, even though the monogamous man stated — and sometimes insisted — that they were fine with this. A lot of the time, I felt like they were making this exception because it was me who they were dating, not because they would normally make this exception or consider this carte blanche. Even though I would never refuse to give someone permission to date other people or be in relationships with other people if I wanted that same permission myself and so always extended that permission, making it clear, the men who “made these exceptions for me” obviously never took me up on that offer, and they insisted that they wouldn’t because they “were willing to be monogamous for me”. It just eventually got to the point that I decided not to date monogamous men any longer, men who were more comfortable being monogamous, or men who “were willing to be monogamous for the right person” (hello, Kat Blaque) because I didn’t want to have to deal with the unevenly skewed dynamic that would always be there in the relationship even though they insisted “that things were alright”.

I started refusing to date monogamous men eight years or so ago and am still glad that I have done so.

I’ve started this habit, and I do not regret this.

In between migraines and… living the slightly busy life that I do with my kids, I’ve started to queue up posts, and with very few exceptions, I do not regret getting into this habit. This means that if I am having a day where there is a lot of migraine activity (and to get the diagnosis of chronic migraine disorder, you have to have at least fifteen headache days per month with at least eight of those being migraine days, and I have that diagnosis… on top of that, mine are intractable, which means that medication does not easily “put them down”), or Bub and Monster are keeping me busy, I don’t have to worry about missing days posting on here. Having posts queued also helps in the event that my server actually does suffer the downtime that I mentioned last month, because when it does manage to come back up, the posts that I had queued will automatically publish… or, at least, that’s how they have so far, but the first, last, and only downtime that I actually saw my site have lasted over the course of one night, and then I had to fix the SSL that I have here.

I am continuing to titrate down on Trokendi, having been on topiramate in some form for awhile now.

Like I’ve probably already mentioned(, using social media so much that I have to ask myself “have I mentioned this here?”), if I am having migraines at the frequency and severity that I am, the medication that I’ve been on the longest… might not be the one that’s working. I did feel it when I dropped down from 300mg to 200mg, but once I got over that hurdle, I felt no difference. And it wasn’t even so much as more migraine activity than I felt the side effects — or lack of some, if you want to be technical — of dropping down 100mg.

When my site crashes, it’s like third baby crashing.

Another thing that I didn’t mention in here was that last month, for the better part of one evening and… through the following night, my site actually crashed. Part of this was due to my site’s host, although they were good about letting me know this when I submitted a ticket. For some strange reason, the other part of this was due to my SSL, which I was able to fix the following morning once my site’s hosting came back up. In the interim, it was like my third child had crashed, though. However, I attribute it to the nortriptyline that my neurologist has me on for migraine prophylaxis that I was more mellowed out about it than I would otherwise have been — at the very least, my blog crashing for several hours would have upset me more than it actually did (and I mean, it did bother me that my site was down for roughly twelve hours, but it didn’t distress me). But at any rate, I do have some really nice SSL going for my blog now due to it, which is good.

I think it would actually bother me more if Instagram crashed for a long time, because for all intents and purposes I should be the world record holder for most pictures taken on it (116,000 and counting… and yes, that is how many pictures I’ve actually taken on there). My account there is private right now, though I would be willing to open it up and keep it open if that would allow me to actually get the world record for that, heh.

Since I’ve been uploading most of my Facebook videos to our YouTube account, who knows though… maybe I’ll inadvertently get the world record for most videos posted over there since all of those have to be public by default. I might trip and fall myself into a world record. It’ll happen before I know it. At some point it has to.

So that I don’t actually forget to mention this…

When I got my economic stimulus payment, I was one of the individuals who did not get “dependent pay”.

I figured that I would be one of the ones “screwed over” by the current administration and IRS, left it at that, was thankful that I had even gotten paid to begin with since it had been months since I had filled out the Non-Filer form and gotten that automated approval e-mail from the IRS, and went on my way spending it.

So imagine how surprised I was to wake up one morning and find out that I had gotten my dependent pay.

Several days later, I began to see news agencies covering it. Apparently I was part of a “programming glitch” that omitted all dependent pay from those who got their economic stimulus payments, and that had been rectified so that those individuals got the dependent pay that they were supposed to get when their initial economic stimulus payment was issued. Again, being extremely thankful that I had even gotten my initial economic stimulus payment in the first place, I began to spend it on some of the things that I had not been able to afford or would have had to save up for months for since it was actually there. I began to do some Christmas shopping with it, knowing that if I began to get that out of the way (or as much of that as I could out of the way with what had been disbursed to me), I could buy Bub and Monster some nice things over the remainder of the year with their regular sources of income. Some of my friends joke that I start birthday shopping and Christmas shopping earlier than most people to begin with, so I mean… why not?

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