personal | serah[DOT]nu

Archive of ‘personal’ category

17
Oct
2021

So I finally put Windows 11 on this computer, and…

categories: personal, television shows; word count: 341 words

It’s been an experience.

I also had 64GB of RAM put into it, which maxes it out, because I was thinking that if I maxed it out all I would have to do would be to open it up one time and that was that. Everything else seemed good enough… that is, until I looked at how much free hard drive space I had left (on an SSD, of all things) and realized that Windows 11 took up more hard drive space than I had originally anticipated even though I had enough to install it and have enough to run it. I’ve been removing some unnecessary apps that I don’t ever use, which has freed up some space on it, but I never thought I would have to do that on a gaming rig of all things. Before installation of Windows 11, I had roughly 100GB of free space, which wasn’t bad given the size of my hard drive. Now, with a lot of effort, I have nearly 50GB. For the life of me I am still trying to figure out what caused this sharp reduction in free hard drive space… other than, of course, the most obvious, Windows 11.

I also kept tabs on the Supernatural convention that took place in Denver, and that too was an experience. I can see why people have now begun to block Jared Padalecki on Twitter for their own personal mental health. I have never seen someone so expertly invalidate queerness in so few words in my lifetime, and I don’t think I will again because least of all I am not going to tune into anything else that Jared Padalecki headlines. I don’t think I should even have been surprised given that this is Jared we’re discussing, but still… I am. Just a bit. The bar was the floor and I still manage to be a bit surprised every time he reaches a new low.

As my friend quipped, you can still be a part of a fandom without letting certain parts of it abuse you.

15
Oct
2021

You do realize that I run a tracker here, right?

categories: blog maintenance, personal; word count: 191 words

The same people who complain that I view their Tweets when they misgender my friend and constantly call him by the wrong name are frequent fliers on this blog, sometimes going twenty-one pages back as they do so. You do realize that my internal tracker (Google Analytics, thank you very much) tells me all of this, right? In before some of you start claiming that it’s not legal or questioning the legality of it, it’s… literally Google Analytics. The only reason that it was ever even set up in the first place was because I wanted to know if Bub’s paternal grandmother and (one of?) her sisters were devoting hours to stalking me again because they have two extremely unique locations, and it would be impossible for them to say that “someone else from that area” viewed my blog in light of that. (This was actually something that was noticed by more than one state agency, too. The fact that this was happening. That they were doing this. I mean, it wasn’t “just me”.)

Sometimes expecting logic out of people is simply too much of an expectation, though. I’m just saying…

14
Oct
2021

Not too long ago, I made a decision that wasn’t easy.

categories: personal; word count: 393 words

There were certain people that I considered friends on Discord who, for lack of a better way to put it, decided to intrude into my personal life in spite of being told not to… so it wasn’t even as though this was remotely blatant. Prior to this, they had been friends of mine. However, it got me to thinking — what is the line when it comes to situations like this? In the past, friends of mine have told me that perhaps I can be a bit too friendly for the sake of being nice to people and maintaining friendships, even when I shouldn’t. I’ve also been told by friends of mine that sometimes I put up with a lot more than I should, even (and especially!) when I shouldn’t, and that it is well within my rights to assert boundaries by stating that I am no longer willing to put up with people who would do this to me. For the sake of maintaining professional decorum, I will not actively seek these people out on the server that we are on, and I will be civil to them. That does not mean that I need to be polite or friendly, though. I can manage “not being cruel or mean to you but not being your friend” alright.

I have gotten, and am getting, more support for this than I realize, and I am thankful for it. Furthermore, it incentivizes me to continue to draw these boundaries as necessary for my own mental health. If someone with a history of domestic violence and sexual assault is exhibiting that what you are saying by virtue of your intrusion into their personal life really uncomfortable, you need to stop — one of them knew both of these things for a fact and the other one was probably told. You don’t get to claim that “someone is having a bad mental health day” if you caused it. I am sick and tired of being “so friendly” that I become people’s punching bag, especially if it is out of distress that I suddenly become a friendly people-pleaser in conversations. If you do this to me, know that you have not just intruded on my boundaries, you have violated them, and I will not want to be friendly or polite to you for awhile. Click send. Do the posting thing.

13
Oct
2021