Since it needs to be said, again from the top.

· I make my disabilities fairly obvious, at least as far as they relate to certain things. This includes the effects that medication may have on me. It is not my responsibility to make my disabilities more palatable or your life easier because you can’t be bothered to remember that I am disabled or how it may limit me, especially when I’m as forthcoming about my disabilities as I am. It is not my job to simplify your life “dealing with me”.

· Although I understand that some people may not like children (and that these people are usually the ones, through conscious action, who have none of their own), this does not give you the “ability” to censor my children from my life. If you think that I am going to be “me without children” to make your life easier, you are mistaken. My children, and being a parent, are an important part of my life, even though that role is one of many facets of my life. I am not going to hold them at arm’s length to make someone’s day, or life, easier. There is a difference between acknowledging that someone may not like children or parenting as much as someone with children, who is a parent… and practically wanting said children to be held at arm’s length.

Six months, or even a year, ago, I would have had a difficult time writing a post like this. I wouldn’t have wanted to offend anyone, and I might have (probably would have) toed the line giving people what they wanted to make interactions with them easier out of concern that I might lose their friendship if I did not. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to advocate for myself more mouthily, which might have been a long time coming given how I… didn’t do it for as long as I did. I’ve also come to the realization that there are certain things that, if persisting, should disqualify me from a friendship with the people who insist on doing them and that I am no worse for the wear in the event that this occurs. Take me as I am or don’t. It’s your choice.

Leave a Reply