January 2021 archive

None of this should surprise me, but…

I am continuing to wash my hair with water as necessary, having decided to eschew traditional shampoos and conditioners so that my hair can remain as bright as it initially was when I first dyed it… and because shampoos strip one’s hair of the natural protection that oils and sebum gives it, just to turn around and attempt to put some kind of protection right back on it with conditioner. I have found that frequently brushing one’s hair really helps make sure that the scalp’s oils are spread down the entire length of it, and I’ve also discovered that my hair is wavier than even I had first estimated, presumably because it is also soft and regular shampooing was damaging the natural waves because it was making it to where my hair had more of a difficult time holding a wave. Now granted, my hair has never been able to pass for straight, but this actually surprised me more than I thought it would. And at the same time… it didn’t surprise me at all.

I am now doing pulmonary function tests every six months since I am “stable”. As in, the severity of my asthma isn’t expected to change such that more frequent visits are warranted. These visits include the six-minute walk each time that I do them, although it’s a bit cramped on the third floor of the building that my pulmonologist now works in. But we make do, and my doctor gets the numbers that he wants from me…

I may also ask my primary care doctor (physician) to raise my dose of nortryptline from 50mg to 100mg, too.

The curious case of my… failing laptop.

Based on a thorough cleaning of the device, my laptop’s fan motor seems to be going out. There’s not much that can be done for that aside from replacing the entire fan, and it then becomes a question of whether or not that is truly cost-effective given the age of the laptop. I’ve begun to look at local pawn shops to see what laptops they have available that would take the RAM that this one has, that way that RAM wouldn’t have been a waste of time to procure (DDR4, 16GB). I would also like to get a computer with a large HDD rather than one with a small SSD, simply because I like having a lot of room on my computer and SSD computers are a lot more expensive than their HDD counterparts for the same amount of space. If the variation in price weren’t as prolific as it was I might (and, trust me, it is), consider being willing to accept a SSD hard drive.

If I can’t find an acceptable, suitable laptop at any of the local pawn shops, I will start looking online.

At least this laptop lasted awhile, even though I had to get it too from a local pawn shop of all places. Heh…

Since it needs to be said, again from the top.

· I make my disabilities fairly obvious, at least as far as they relate to certain things. This includes the effects that medication may have on me. It is not my responsibility to make my disabilities more palatable or your life easier because you can’t be bothered to remember that I am disabled or how it may limit me, especially when I’m as forthcoming about my disabilities as I am. It is not my job to simplify your life “dealing with me”.

· Although I understand that some people may not like children (and that these people are usually the ones, through conscious action, who have none of their own), this does not give you the “ability” to censor my children from my life. If you think that I am going to be “me without children” to make your life easier, you are mistaken. My children, and being a parent, are an important part of my life, even though that role is one of many facets of my life. I am not going to hold them at arm’s length to make someone’s day, or life, easier. There is a difference between acknowledging that someone may not like children or parenting as much as someone with children, who is a parent… and practically wanting said children to be held at arm’s length.

Six months, or even a year, ago, I would have had a difficult time writing a post like this. I wouldn’t have wanted to offend anyone, and I might have (probably would have) toed the line giving people what they wanted to make interactions with them easier out of concern that I might lose their friendship if I did not. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve begun to advocate for myself more mouthily, which might have been a long time coming given how I… didn’t do it for as long as I did. I’ve also come to the realization that there are certain things that, if persisting, should disqualify me from a friendship with the people who insist on doing them and that I am no worse for the wear in the event that this occurs. Take me as I am or don’t. It’s your choice.

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