I think it might have been around the part where I mentioned that I was happy and relieved not to have to attend Mass with my ex’s family any more (it’s been almost a full decade now), and that when his family was literally forcing me to attend church functions with them that I was literally telling him that I did not want to go to, I was bringing my PSP with me and playing it on silent in the arm of my sweater when I was not caring for our child, ignoring everything that was going on the entire time to the point that I had to Google what actually goes on in Mass a decade later. I was “immersed” in Catholicism. I went to Masses with his family and various church functions and get-togethers (that I did not want to attend either). It didn’t make me believe in God or “see” that his church was “the one true religion” in any way, shape or form. I felt apathy toward attending, was bored at the idea of it bar the fact that I played video games to relieve that boredom and tune out what was going on around me, and was incensed and irate that I had to attend these things that I saw no point in attending since I was never voluntarily converting or following the doctrine of.

And I was right. I never did convert, none of us did, and we’re still not following the doctrine today. So…