Although I know that I’ve actually been writing more about religion in here than I have video games over the course of… well, this Lenten period (even though I actually had to Google “when is Ash Wednesday?” and “when does Lent start?”, as well as some other things like “what is a Hail Mary?” and “what is Our Father?”, because all of those Masses that my ex and his mother coerced me into attending, as well as those functions and get-togethers that they made me come to, were intentionally completely lost on me because I ignored as much from them as I possibly could, did not listen to or learn a thing from them, and just wanted to be done with it all and leave because I did not want to be there and still wish that my ex had respected me enough to say something to someone about that… but I honestly think that he thought that “with enough exposure, I’d change my mind,” which led me to believe that he had an idealized version of “me” in his head, I was never actually going to be that person), I do intend on stopping come Easter and only picking it up come each Lent.

Never once in my life have I had a questioning moment that has led me to speculate the existence of a higher, or supernatural, power. I have been happy with that, and I don’t think that will ever change anytime soon given that it has been a decade now since I have “rejected” RCIA in the literal self-admission of being a decades-long atheist to the class instructors (and my ex’s mother), which led to me being dropped from the class roster and being disinvited to the church functions that I had been coerced into attending. It was my ex’s mother’s plan to get me to convert to Catholicism so that I “had” to consent to have her son baptized so that she could use that to exert even more control (or what little control she comparatively had), make me marry her son in the Catholic church to “fix the sin of us having had a child out of wedlock”, and then use that to exert control over me because of how the Catholic church feels about contraceptives, even though I made it plainly clear to both of them that I was done having children… I guess they didn’t realize how done I really was, and that as long as it had to do with my body, I could and would be the one making that decision.

As far as “rejecting” RCIA though (even though I literally actually did it), I do not regret doing so in the manner that I did. It would have come out at the end of the inquiry period had it not come out then, and then I would have been dropped from the class roster by the RCIA instructors or the priest himself after being interviewed by one (or two) of them, but it would have been worse because I would have sat through more classes that I didn’t pay attention to and the fact that my ex’s mother had lied to as many people as she did telling them that I wanted to convert to Catholicism would have become even more of a glaring lie. Either way, at some point early on in the process the truth would have come out and I would have been dropped, because if my mind hasn’t changed on the matter aside from me continuing not to believe in the existence of anything supernatural and being completely opposed to all theistic doctrine in an entire decade it would not have changed in a few weeks’ time. And they would not have married me in the church (which is that important to his family) because I would have stood in opposition to any and all infant baptisms (which, if you get down to brass tacks, would only have been one because I was not having any more children), and I was opposed to all of his church’s doctrine, especially that which involved me in any way, shape, or form…

If they had been content to keep their religion to themselves and not force it, things may have been different.

But I don’t really think that they would have been because they, and Catholicism, are not that kind of people.