March 1st 2020 archive

Some more thoughts relating to my last post.

In reference to my last post, I’m actually surprised (but in a good way, and I hope that things continue to hold like this) that as few people as there have been have… continued to reach out to me on social networking sites wanting to be my friend on them. In the year or two after graduation, there were the occasional trickle of people wanting to keep in touch with me, but that almost completely tapered off after I gave birth to my own son, and I will admit that a lot of that was by my own doing. Almost hilariously, Monster’s father attended the same schools as me for a lot of the time that we spent going to school together because, being six months younger than me and one grade lower than me, we spent a lot of time going to school together and happened to be on the periphery of each other’s social circles. But as I would later come to find out due to the severity of his mental illness, none of us authentically knew who he really was at all. After the court order was drawn up and finalized that denied him access to our child for… the reasons that had to be done to keep our child safe from harm at his own hand, he wanted absolutely nothing to do with anyone that had gone to school with any of us, and the only school that he “claimed” any allegiance to was the school that he attended during his senior year after some re-zoning had been done (one that I had never attended, having graduated one year before him), because it was one that very few people in our social circle attended, and it was his way of obtaining one of what would become many “fresh starts”. (This is a real big thing with him.)

Still, though, I am more than comfortable not being in any sort of contact with any of the people that I went to secondary school with at any point bar the one individual that I am friends with on Facebook, and I would like it to continue to remain that way. I think it was actually firmly solidified for me when I actually saw a picture circulating on Facebook from a class reunion that had been held for our class — if you can even call it that — where only one Caucasian student was invited, no Asian-American students appeared to be invited, no perceptibly mixed students were invited, maybe a third of the students present were of Hispanic origin and the rest were African-American. That stood out to me, and that still kind of stands out to me to this day.

All in all, I just don’t want to really have a relationship with any of them, let alone my graduating class.

I don’t really bear any ill will toward any of them — I’m in my thirties — but I don’t… want to befriend them.