Posts Tagged ‘streaming’

That only took me how many years now?

So far I’ve more or less rebranded everything of mine online to be related to Serah Farron from the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy, which I do not mind in the slightest… I like her the most, and it makes it that much easier for people to recognize me online (or to know that it is me). That doesn’t stop me from liking other characters — almost as much — anyway, but it makes everything of mine a lot simpler to manage. (My second choice Final Fantasy character would quite likely be Rinoa Heartilly, especially due to the sorcery lore that’s in Final Fantasy VIII.) I’ve also begun to make social networking accounts of mine professional for purposes of resuming content creation and streaming, although I’m not quite where I need to be before I resume posting most videos on YouTube. That platform is going to be treated differently than I treat my Twitch platform, which will probably always be the primary place that I stream. However, my goal has always been “be better than Onision”, and we all saw what happened to him after he was finally deplatformed by YouTube…

In the interim, I’ve continued to stay out of the Discord servers that I’ve mentioned no longer wanting to be part of even if I did “grow up” with some of these people. (Some of you may or may not be surprised at how many of these people I don’t remember, because my Internet experience as a child and adolescent fundamentally differed from many of theirs in pivotal ways… that, and I do not currently live in an environment where “Internet friends” are not seen as something other than jaded, so I was not as able to get close to these people like some of them got to each other being in more permissive and supportive environments. This isn’t something that I feel as though I regret, though.) For me this will be a long-term thing simply because I’m too old for, and no longer want to put up with, all of the drama. I’m fine without it.)

I’ve been invited to some of their newer servers, asked to come back to them, even asked to reconsider my stance “with the door left open in case I change my mind”, and have respectfully declined all invitations.

None of this is actually a bad thing here.

Since we’re still in a pandemic, people seem to have this misconception about me that I’m going to continue to be as available online as I’ve been since the start of it… when that is not going to be the case. Like yeah, I’ll still be online (even if a lot of it is technically me idling in apps like Discord, leaving it open in case anyone wants to leave a message), but I’m not going to be online as much as I have been. And the only exception to letting myself idle on Discord as I’ve mentioned will be when I’m streaming, because I don’t need to have a whole bunch of notifications go off in the background — I’ll get to them when I get to them, but it won’t be while I’m actually streaming. I don’t see this as a bad thing, though. There’s always going to be a point at which I just don’t want to communicate any more with people than I’ve already been doing, or have been doing up until that point — this is one of the reasons why I’m reluctant to join voice chats on Discord and why, as I’ve said, “the Internet stays on the Internet”. And I know I’ve mentioned this in here, but I almost never actually meet up with people from the Internet. I would have to know you for a really long time first.

As I’ve mentioned, the last person that I met up with that I didn’t know in person, who was not from this area, was that guy that I had been in a long-distance relationship with. I know that I’ve mentioned it in here before, but I had absolutely no idea that he and his mother were doing the things I’ve written about, let alone capable of. No one that I knew had any idea, either. It actually surprised a lot of the people that I knew in person who knew that I had been in this relationship to be told that not only did I have to report his mother to the state, but I also had to aid in the report that someone else would be making to the state as well (the narcotics theft, as I had informed the sister of the person that he had been “acquiring” these from, and all I could do was provide her family with the information that I did). These things were supposed to be “secrets”, I guess, kept “in the family”… but I didn’t feel comfortable with that level of deception, and I didn’t want to be in a relationship with or even around people like this. I did what I had to do turning both of them in for them.

The fact that this even happened — as in, that these people were actually capable of these things, as no one would ever even have begun to suspect it had they not already been made aware of them — was actually enough to sour people that I knew in real life from “meeting people off (of) the Internet, because you would never know if these people were who they really said they were”… and I mean, I can’t blame them for that.

1 3 4 5 6 7 9