Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

Back and forth. Back and forth we go.

Someone tells me that the good cause claim for Bub is approved.

Hours later, someone tells me that it’s not because it is primarily against his paternal grandmother.

I left a message with the domestic violence specialist that I’ve been speaking with about submitting another good cause claim implicating Bub’s father, seeing as how he intentionally brought his parents onto my property in late 2010 knowing that they would get violent. This was something that he knew would happen, and he intentionally did it. I don’t want Bub’s father to be blameless in this situation. There is also other information that I hope to supply to the domestic violence specialist about my relationship with Bub’s father that I haven’t spoken about to anyone, because it took me years to realize that it had happened in our relationship. It was something that I didn’t want to think about because I was so focused on raising Bub and Monster, and Bub’s father hadn’t seen him since he was an infant, so it got pushed to the back of my mind where it stayed until it began to become relevant. It’s something that I will mention to the domestic violence specialist if asked about it, if it becomes relevant, which it may. But I’m sick of this back and forth madness.

I hate having been put in the position to protect my children from their other parents, even though it is absolutely necessary in both cases and it is something that I will never hesitate to do. I absolutely hate it.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this yet, so…

I still have a Staph infection on my leg. But should anyone be surprised?

It’s begun to heal a bit, and it has gotten smaller, but it is still definitely there. There is still pain to be had with dressing changes. I was given a prescription for codeine to take to manage it, and it has taken the edge off of the pain when I change dressings or when I bathe. It doesn’t take away all of the pain, but it does help!

However, we are now on three months of this thing, and that in itself has gotten annoying.

Taking pictures is a hobby of mine, especially when I’m taking pictures of my children.

Were we finally getting somewhere with this?

The good cause waiver for Monster’s case was approved, but… not for Bub’s case. Both of them have had good cause waivers exempting them from child support enforcement so that we can safely access benefits from 2014 all the way to now when this, for lack of a better way to put it, “suddenly” became an issue. Absolutely nothing has changed as far as the safety risks go. I have continued to be in contact with multiple people working for the child support office and HHSC, and I have broadened my horizons to include contact being made with Lone Star Legal Aid as well. Strange how mentioning that to HHSC and the local child support office suddenly got a “policy review” scheduled for my son’s case… when they knew that I had sought out legal advice and, quite possibly, any legal help that they can provide me. This could very well end in one branch of the state taking another one to court for refusing to honor the good cause waiver that the local domestic violence shelter, as per their paperwork, approved for my son’s case. It’s actually supposed to be up to the domestic violence specialist whether or not a good cause waiver gets approved, not HHSC. And as it was, I wasn’t supposed to have to renew the kids’ good cause waivers to start. They are one and done.

I anticipate that the low-income legal aid service that this state offers may be more useful than any of my prior contacts have, even though the woman that did the intake for my request was baffled that the abusive party in Bub’s case is his paternal grandmother and that there had been a waiver on his case that was allowed to stay there without a problem until now. That last bit might be what gets his case some attention.

I think we are finally actually getting somewhere!

I have been in contact with various people working for both HHSC (Health and Human Services) and the OAG (Office of the Attorney General) to expedite closure of Bub and Monster’s child support cases. This has been by e-mail and over the phone. A supervisor that I spoke with from HHSC, or someone who honestly seemed like she was one with her expertise, told me that the boys’ child support files have been flagged as having good cause since their birth years, and she was perplexed that the child support office even wanted to work these cases. She told me that to her knowledge, as soon as a good cause claim is approved, you don’t have to do it again… well, not unless you want the claim to be removed, then change your mind and decide to have it reinstated. I’m glad that the state sees the risk of harm working these cases for what it is, though. I would pursue child support if it were safe to do. I would pursue lifetime child support if it were safe to do, because the boys could really use it with their disabilities and more than meet the criteria for that. However, I had to make peace years ago with the fact that neither of these things can safely be pursued.

It sucks, but these were literally decisions that I had to make in both cases to eliminate the risk of harm.

This may be going slightly better now.

The individual working for HHSC’s family violence coordination unit corresponded with the child support office, who… wait for it… needed two new copies of the good cause form (you know, the one that’s been on file for both cases since 2014?) to close the child support cases out as a condition of us receiving certain state benefits. Luckily for me, I was able to do the interview for both cases over the phone due to COVID-19 and the whole needing to get this done as soon as humanly possible thing, and the domestic violence specialist that I spoke with over the phone told me that both cases clearly qualified. Bub’s case qualifies because of his extended family members, but in particular his paternal grandmother. Monster’s case qualifies because of his father. (And I know, you ordinarily don’t get extended family as the abusers…)

Now I have people from multiple agencies e-mailing me, responding to my initial complaints and inquiries, apologizing that these cases were even opened up to begin with stating that they will do all that they can to expedite their closure. I even had to tell the domestic violence specialist that I spoke with over the phone that I was absolutely certain that I did not want child support or to have the orders enforced… apparently they need to make sure that you actually understand what having a good cause waiver on your child’s case implies, but I was very enthusiastic in letting her know that I do not want child support if it can at all be avoided — barring Bub’s paternal grandmother’s completely voluntary payments, which she’s been making for awhile now — because there is simply no safe way to pursue it. This was a decision that I had to make a long time ago, and it is a decision that I will continue making for as long as the boys are both minors. On top of that, even in spite of their disabilities, this means that I have chosen not to pursue lifetime child support.

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