People have legitimately been telling me that I should tell my oldest son to forget his father and that I shouldn’t have any mementos made so that he can remember his father (or, more to the point, having one). This has caused me to cut people out of my life, which I don’t mind one bit, who I won’t be allowing back into my life for any reason. These are the very same people who have practically been shouting at me that I should sue the driver of the car that struck my son’s father, caring more about “that $25,000 (sic)” than the fact that this man was genuinely remorseful that his actions caused another person to die, let alone the fact that my son might actually want something to keep his father close by. The fact that these people care more about money than the emotional states of my son or me has been horrifying, although I expect nothing less from the people I grew up with who have repeatedly continued to invite me to their Discord servers (“but it’ll be different this time! there won’t be [any] drama [this time], I promise!”) in spite of the fact that I have made it as clear as I can that I don’t want to be invited to these servers or contacted by these people. Maybe they’ll get it this time, although I wouldn’t hold my breath on the matter. It’s like these people legitimately haven’t grown up at all, and I’m not interested in living through the adolescence that I spent on America Online over again if you know what I mean. I could write a whole post about how that was not a… fun experience for me, or vlog about it, and I think I will sometime soon. Both, in fact. But seriously, I’d like to get off of the ride now.

I found out that the morgue that my oldest son’s “father” was at tried as hard as they could to make contact with me because he had somewhat recently placed my name in his medical record as a “person of contact”… like if something happened to him or something. He knew that he was supposed to go through my parents if he needed to make any sort of contact with me after the restraining order was granted, and this was well after it was granted. This wasn’t that long before his death, as a matter of fact. So I’m speculating that this was just another way for him to attempt to defy the restraining order, because he definitely knew that it had been granted. I was also told that no members of his family, aside from the sister who identified him when she had to come to the morgue to identify their father, were willing to identify him or claim his body, so I’m also guessing that I was the “last choice” for this because no one in his family was actually willing to do it. I wasn’t about to put my sixteen-year-old son (now seventeen), in this position when he never even knew his “father” in the first place, and I’m guessing that it took so long for any contact to be made because his Social Security Number had to begin registering as deceased in my son’s records since the death was out of state. It still bothers me that he had even done this in the first place though, as I wish he hadn’t, even if he had only “done so” to make it easier for me to find out if something did happen to him (as even that still managed to take three months). And it’s things like exactly this that make me wonder if it was actually an accident at all.

Maybe it was the last way he could think of to hurt me and my son, even though I’ll never tell my son this.