Posts Tagged ‘disability’

I hate being infantilized when I disclose autism.

The title is the biggest banger of all in this post and should pretty much say everything.

What about autism makes people think that it’s a child’s disorder, that only children can have it? These children inevitably do grow up and become adults. More and more adults are getting diagnosed autistic because they have children or family members who are or have (and sometimes significant others who go “hey, I see a lot of myself in you, maybe you’re…”). If I want accommodations, or for people to understand how I am the way I am, it’s best for me to disclose that I am autistic. But if I disclose that I am autistic, some people treat me like I am inferior to them, like I know less than them, or like I’m a child when I am not. They act like I have greater access needs and barriers than I do, and sometimes they do these things in really obvious ways which frustrates me if not infuriates me depending on how they do it. It’s just really frustrating.

Like… don’t get me wrong. I’ve always wondered why my mind seemed to operate differently from that of those around me, so to be diagnosed autistic did not come as a surprise to me at all. Some of my friends who are autistic adults actually told me that they knew I would be diagnosed autistic before I was actually diagnosed on paper. But it seems like adults who aren’t autistic don’t always treat autistic adults with the respect that they deserve as human beings, and that’s got to go before 2030, I swear. I’m that impatient.

A whole bunch of things crammed into one post.

First things first: I’m waiting for my migraines to begin to improve. So yeah, still waiting on that one. During the radiofrequency ablation (RFA) that was done on the right side of my head, the technician accidentally pierced the nerve with the shot meant to numb it rather than injected the lidocaine beside it… and that was a ten-out-of-ten banger until he could sufficiently numb up that entire side of my head, and I mean that in the worst possible way. I know that it was a mistake and that these things just happen some of the time, so I’m not mad at him for what was clearly a simple mistake. It just means that I have to wait a little while longer until the pain on that side of my head is ameliorated, assuming that it even ameliorates at all. We’ll see…

Secondly: The terms “abandonware” and “fair use act” do not mean what certain people think they mean, or what certain people have been deluding themselves into thinking that they mean. I’ve been in correspondence with the copyright holder of… one such entity (although you could also call them the owner of the intellectual property in question, and that wouldn’t be wrong either), and not only have these contacts clarified some information for me — namely that you can not claim that something is abandonware because it is the older version of a current program, and accepting money for any reason as part of this project means that you are profiting off of someone else’s work — but have solidified the fact that I am not going to participate in any projects that are not iron-clad in their legality. If this means that I do not participate in any more “projects” like this any more, so be it. I’d rather not take unnecessary risk here, especially as a streamer.

Can I have some pain medication for this, please?

So I was finally able to get radiofrequency ablation done on the other side of my head. The only downside to that was the technician accidentally injecting the nerve itself with the numbing agent and the steroid rather than the space beside it, which meant that he had to go back in and numb up the pain that he caused the nerve by injecting it with… well, anything, because injecting a nerve with a needle to begin with is going to hurt. As the pain relief and steroid injections have worn off, I have come to be able to feel that side of my head again… to include where the nerve in question was literally poked by the needle (which was not fun, is not fun, and will not be fun for awhile, I suspect) and have not been able to turn my head to varying degrees of the right side. I’m well aware that to start to feel better from these things, you have to get over the hurdle of the nerve feeling really uncomfortable as it realizes you tried to scramble it… but one of my nerves accidentally got poked with a needle, so I’ve been taking pain medication as appropriate to counter that.

Fun times, said no one! And I fully do intend on getting back to streaming once I feel better from this, and once I stop having migraines every single day because that is the place that we are now at. Either that or I need to find better ways of coping with this level of frequency and intensity although I dislike doing so…

Hurry Up and Wait, the anti-climactic sequel.

Sometimes I get the most… amusing spam comments on here, I’m not even going to lie. Again.

Anyway, I wish that my insurance had approved my pain management clinic’s last request for radiofrequency ablation (also, and affectionately, known as “probes to the back of the head”) by the time the appointment that I had made for it rolled around… because even though they were given four weeks to do so, they managed not to get to it in time, which resulted in us having to cancel that appointment, and then after my pain management clinic contacts my insurance provider about why it had taken them four weeks to fail to make a decision on it, they approved their request the afternoon after I was supposed to be seen to have the procedure done. Sad face. That just means that I’ll have to wait until that rescheduled appointment comes around, which will be next week. I was at the mercy of the receptionist when she called me since so many appointment slots had already been filled for this month before the authorization for that procedure would have expired… which wouldn’t have been a problem if my insurance had approved it like they were supposed to rather than waiting four entire weeks to sit on it doing nothing, which didn’t happen last time.

I want off of this bureaucratic bus, please. I would like off of this bureaucratic bus, please…

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