I’ve also found some interesting things out about my oldest son’s genealogy, which I’ll post at a later date!
This has been the most fun science project!
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Since I missed Wordless Wednesday, here you go!
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That ended a bit better than I thought it would.
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For anyone that’s been following the… mailman saga, I did get the necklace containing my son’s father’s ashes that I was supposed to get, although I got it one day after it had been guaranteed and the postal service has told me that they are investigating the mailman who runs this route. This isn’t the first time that a parcel with a guaranteed delivery date hasn’t been delivered on the guaranteed delivery date. This isn’t even the second time that this has occurred. The only things that these items have in common, other than guaranteed delivery dates, have been the same mailman over the years… and although the postal service has told me that they’ll fully investigate the matter this time, I’m not that optimistic if you know what I mean.
But I have the necklace containing some of his ashes, which has become more mine than my oldest son’s (who doesn’t seem to favor it either way, and I can’t fault him for that), and I have enough ashes to get a ring made, which I’m doing. In the coming months, I’d like to get a commemorative Forget-me-Not tattoo going down my left arm since that seems like the best place to put one, and it’s vague enough not to give itself away if I don’t want it to be given away… and I’d like a little bit of his ashes to be used in that. It might have surprised some people, and it might surprise some people, but I don’t hate him. I never hated him. I was hurt by some of the actions that he took, and he became a deeply hurt, troubled man whose hurt and trouble only intensified as the years drew on, but he died at the age of thirty-seven in a manner that I wouldn’t wish on a single person. I wouldn’t wish his age of death on anyone, and I wouldn’t wish his manner of death on anyone. Most of the family members of his who I’ve been in contact with feel the same.
All I can say without going into extravagant detail, although I do intend on covering… something about it in here at some point, is that I do not feel the same way about my oldest son’s father as I do my youngest son’s father, and that if any of this had happened to my youngest son’s father, I’d remain indifferent for reason.
I am slowly but surely getting better from this.
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As I’m sure I’ve mentioned in previous posts, post-sepsis syndrome is a very real… thing that I’ve had since I began to get over sepsis, although it didn’t make itself as abundantly clear when I was discharged from the hospital. I didn’t quite feel like I was walking on water then, but I felt better than I did… I don’t want to say now, because I do feel better now, but for awhile leading up to now. It’s been a process that I’ve had to coast off of with the medications that I’ve been prescribed for pain and nausea, and justifiably so. I’ve had more migraines than I normally have, which hasn’t surprised me one bit. I’ve been in more systemic, body-wide pain than I thought I would be. Nausea has been kicking me in the tail end, although Pepto Bismol has been an absolute godsend allowing me to keep down necessary medications, working my way up to actual food.
I remain ever thankful to be here, even though some of the symptoms that I have to deal with have been difficult, or profoundly difficult, some of the time. Pain I can deal with. Pain is always something I’ve been able to soldier through. Nausea, on the other hand, has not been something that I have been able to deal with well. Or sufficiently, for that matter. Sickness, of course, remains miserable, solely mine to deal with….