For anyone that’s been following the… mailman saga, I did get the necklace containing my son’s father’s ashes that I was supposed to get, although I got it one day after it had been guaranteed and the postal service has told me that they are investigating the mailman who runs this route. This isn’t the first time that a parcel with a guaranteed delivery date hasn’t been delivered on the guaranteed delivery date. This isn’t even the second time that this has occurred. The only things that these items have in common, other than guaranteed delivery dates, have been the same mailman over the years… and although the postal service has told me that they’ll fully investigate the matter this time, I’m not that optimistic if you know what I mean.

But I have the necklace containing some of his ashes, which has become more mine than my oldest son’s (who doesn’t seem to favor it either way, and I can’t fault him for that), and I have enough ashes to get a ring made, which I’m doing. In the coming months, I’d like to get a commemorative Forget-me-Not tattoo going down my left arm since that seems like the best place to put one, and it’s vague enough not to give itself away if I don’t want it to be given away… and I’d like a little bit of his ashes to be used in that. It might have surprised some people, and it might surprise some people, but I don’t hate him. I never hated him. I was hurt by some of the actions that he took, and he became a deeply hurt, troubled man whose hurt and trouble only intensified as the years drew on, but he died at the age of thirty-seven in a manner that I wouldn’t wish on a single person. I wouldn’t wish his age of death on anyone, and I wouldn’t wish his manner of death on anyone. Most of the family members of his who I’ve been in contact with feel the same.

All I can say without going into extravagant detail, although I do intend on covering… something about it in here at some point, is that I do not feel the same way about my oldest son’s father as I do my youngest son’s father, and that if any of this had happened to my youngest son’s father, I’d remain indifferent for reason.