the blog of a disabled mother who likes to game, and "get in the pit"
This has meant that the boys can resume occupational and speech therapy sessions and that we no longer have to isolate or quarantine, which is awesome. I took this picture of Bub before we headed off to a session.
I’m continuing not to watch The Winchesters, in large part because I want to know how it is intended to fit into Supernatural lore and am presently unwilling to “wait until the season finale where everything will be explained”. The amount of people who are supposed to be “in my lane” or “on my side” — I could make a list of fandom terms that annoy me at this point, and I might actually do that for the sake of a blog post one day — who “ship the same thing that I do” (Destiel, or Dean/Cas, whatever you want to call it), who have sought me out to block me for curating my own media experiences has been a bit surprising if not wild. Every few weeks when there’s fandom-related discussion on Twitter that I manage to see on my feed, I find out that more Destiel shippers have blocked me for not tuning into The Winchesters sight unseen on the plot, who have criticized me for not even “hate watching” claiming that I am not a real fan of the series, not enough of a fan of it… you get my drift. They continue to make the case for why I do not actively participate in fandom-related things… that, and the fact that so many of them, which I have seen on my feed as I continue to curate it to see less and less of this, think that the show Is Seriously Speaking to Them is concerning. This is a manifestation of potential psychosis on the parts of some of the people who do this, who wholeheartedly believe what they themselves say — or type out — when they think that a scripted show… is somehow personally speaking through their screens To Them. This is a thing that actually seriously concerns me now.
“Why won’t you attend fandom conventions?”
“Why won’t you meet up in person with people who are fandom members? Members of fandom?”
At this point I’m going to let the cases continue to make themselves and gesture to the worst Tweets.
So far I’ve more or less rebranded everything of mine online to be related to Serah Farron from the Final Fantasy XIII trilogy, which I do not mind in the slightest… I like her the most, and it makes it that much easier for people to recognize me online (or to know that it is me). That doesn’t stop me from liking other characters — almost as much — anyway, but it makes everything of mine a lot simpler to manage. (My second choice Final Fantasy character would quite likely be Rinoa Heartilly, especially due to the sorcery lore that’s in Final Fantasy VIII.) I’ve also begun to make social networking accounts of mine professional for purposes of resuming content creation and streaming, although I’m not quite where I need to be before I resume posting most videos on YouTube. That platform is going to be treated differently than I treat my Twitch platform, which will probably always be the primary place that I stream. However, my goal has always been “be better than Onision”, and we all saw what happened to him after he was finally deplatformed by YouTube…
In the interim, I’ve continued to stay out of the Discord servers that I’ve mentioned no longer wanting to be part of even if I did “grow up” with some of these people. (Some of you may or may not be surprised at how many of these people I don’t remember, because my Internet experience as a child and adolescent fundamentally differed from many of theirs in pivotal ways… that, and I do not currently live in an environment where “Internet friends” are not seen as something other than jaded, so I was not as able to get close to these people like some of them got to each other being in more permissive and supportive environments. This isn’t something that I feel as though I regret, though.) For me this will be a long-term thing simply because I’m too old for, and no longer want to put up with, all of the drama. I’m fine without it.)
I’ve been invited to some of their newer servers, asked to come back to them, even asked to reconsider my stance “with the door left open in case I change my mind”, and have respectfully declined all invitations.