If you’re knee- or neck-deep into fandom, I’m not sure I want much to do with you.

I don’t want anything to do with some of you at all, and I’ve made that clear.

For some of this to continue to persist is an invasion of privacy and violation of boundaries, because I shouldn’t have to repeat it more than once. But I’ll continue to repeat it for as long as it takes to get you off of my shit and out of my lives, and this means all branches or “lanes” of fandom (I am reluctant to use some of the same stock terminology as has been run into the ground, but most of you — those of you who aren’t knee- or neck-deep into this — should get my drift). I was in one fandom-related server on Discord that I thought was going to be cool for… a few days, but then I decided that the best thing to do was keep any activity that might even remotely be construed to that to Twitter and not have it anywhere else. I don’t intend to go to any of these conventions. The only thing that I am collecting from Supernatural are challenge coins, and that’s only because I am a sucker for them. Everything else from fandom in general I am out of.

I have gotten a few good screenshots from my friends on a server in Discord explaining… fandom shit to them, and Supernatural to them, and I might post those later although they had to be redacted a little bit.

It’s that time of the month again. My abuser (who, as I’m sure some of you were able to sus out, was also the person who publicly posted revenge porn of a Canadian ex of his, which is currently being investigated by his new home state) has the state’s second attempt at a show cause hearing coming up for shoplifting since he did not attend the first one that they had scheduled for him. After awhile — sooner rather than later, anyway — the state is going to get tired of scheduling hearings for him that he is refusing to come to and they are probably going to put a warrant out for his arrest. He appears to know that he has to hide from something, because when this incident happened was when he deactivated or deleted all of the social media accounts that he had actively, publicly been using, and he made himself a lot less searchable in Google search results. He wouldn’t have had the “need” to do that if he weren’t running for something, and the state that he feels like he had to “flee” to is a lot more aggressive about arresting people who have broken the law (and extraditing them when they are successful in fleeing) than our home state, although our home state actually made the decision to wave off on all extradition requests that they legally could to keep my oldest son safe from harm when he retaliated over having to do even more time in the county jail…

There’s also the fact that he used to gloat about having befriended several of the cops in this area, being able to get them to “look the other way” when he broke the law. However, he didn’t befriend all of them, he did not get on the county criminal justice unit’s good side, and the state that he feels like he had to “flee” to is pursuing him as aggressively as they can for all of the crimes he commits while a “resident” (who, might I add, does not have a valid driver’s license or ID card because he is unwilling to give an address to the DMV that he can’t lie about or immediately move from). But as I’ve already stated, I know that he isn’t going to show up to this show cause hearing either, and I expect this to be the last olive branch that his new “county of residence” gives him before they throw the book at him. Because he’s gone radio silent on everything, no one can pin down his present location other than to say that he’s never going to return here of his own accord because he still thinks that he has to evade child support enforcement (which keeps us slightly safer).

As of today, my mother has been dead for three years now.

Having written about what she did to, and about, my child over the last six months of her life, and then touching on the medical neglect that I experienced as a child (as well as the emotional abuse, having had it screamed in my face when I was a young elementary school student that she wished she had aborted me, that she wished I had never been born, that she hated me, that she didn’t like me, that “no matter how hard I tried I would always be bad”… the list goes on), I’m not sad that she’s gone. I don’t miss her at all. I’ve made it clear to everyone that knows me in person that I do not want to be asked about her and that I don’t want to talk about her unless I have to. I don’t have to deal with her again. I don’t have to talk to her again, either…

She made me choose between her and my child, and the decision was almost pathetically easy.