June 2021 archive

05
Jun
2021

Just giving things some more thought here, I guess.

categories: personal; word count: 483 words

Some people think that I’m looking a gift horse in the mouth when I say something like this, but I’ve given it a lot of thought and have decided that in an ideal situation (excepting potential or imminent homelessness), I would not like to inherit my parents’ house as they had previously planned. It’s actually something that I don’t want to do to the tune of feeling out other living situations should my dad pass at any point… and, I mean, he’s pushing seventy, so this is definitely something that I need to continue thinking about. Although it was suggested that I could inherit the house and get a roommate after my father died, I thought about that and realized that it would solve none of the problems that I continue to have with the idea of inheriting this.

One of my primary concerns is the crime rate of this city. It’s an anomaly in that it averages a score of between D to F on most crime aggregate sites, whereas the cities around it have much less crime. I’d like to live in a city that’s safer, and I’d like to raise my kids in a city that’s safer. When you question the safety of walking around the neighborhood without being covertly armed because of the crime rate in your city, that might be when you start to question continuing to live there. There’s also the fact that I do not want to continue to live in or raise my kids in a state with values so opposed to my own, being a lifelong leftist living in a Republican stronghold. If I can get out of that at any point, even if it is with the death of my last surviving parent, I would leap at the chance. This state hasn’t expanded Medicaid, either… that’s a problem.

In addition, I don’t have very many friends that continue to live in this area. Most, if not all, of them have moved. They might have moved for the same reasons that I’d like to. Maybe they moved for other reasons.

The only disability supports that are here in this state are ones that are federally mandated. That means a lot, because they dramatically improve the quality of life of those who are disabled. Talking with citizens of this state on the governor’s Facebook page has said a lot about what these citizens think of poor, disabled people… and that’s another thing that I’m growing increasingly more uncomfortable with. Disability does not equal being a burden. Needing, and accepting, help is not a bad thing. Your worth is not tied to your work.

There’s also the fact that everything costs a lot here, and that pales in comparison to the opportunities here.

There are so many reasons why I’d like not to inherit this house, and why I’d love to be able to move away.

04
Jun
2021

I have fallen down the rabbit hole of tarot.

categories: personal; word count: 235 words

Truth be told, I’ve owned a tarot deck for the longest time. Our first tarot deck was gifted to me by a good friend, as he had joked that “I might need to have it on hand if (Bub’s paternal grandmother) shows back up on my doorstep”. I kept it around for sentimental reasons, and because it is a fully functional tarot deck.

The second deck that we acquired was one that I wanted us to have on hand to have a larger deck, and I managed to score one off of eBay for a considerable… dent in the normal asking price for that particular deck because I happened to find a seller that had taken a lot off of the normal asking price for it. Needless to say, I got us that tarot deck as soon as I saw that listing. That’s been the deck that we have generally used.

The third deck that we got, again, came from a friend. It was the official Supernatural Tarot deck.

I also got Bub a deck of his very own that is en route to us now because he continued to eye our decks.

Now I kind of want to begin making a bit of a habit out of collecting affordable oracle and tarot decks. I don’t know… there’s just something about them, and ritual Satanism, that draws me to them. I just like using them.

03
Jun
2021

I still don’t have any Google PageRank on this.

categories: blog maintenance, personal; word count: 298 words

I’ve been reading about any new metrics that the behemoth known as Google PageRank could be using, or has been using, in the hopes that I can raise this blog’s PageRank for future endeavors (even though, apparently, a sign that it might have started to be noticed by Google is an influx of spam comments… and, I mean, I do get those). It honestly seems like blogs in general, particularly self-hosted blogs, are not quite as popular as they used to be maybe even ten years ago, even though I didn’t feel like I could actually write anything of substance in a public blog due to the fact that members of Bub’s paternal family were actually cyberstalking me online. So far, I continue to monitor the Google Analytics that is embedded in this blog to ensure that hits from two very specific locations do not come up. If they do, I will go through my view history to find the IP of those hits, block them by 403, and continue to block any subsequent hits to those locations for as long as it takes until the message that I am attempting to send becomes clear. It might already have become clear now that they know that I am running an internal tracker behind all websites that I use (or that I did), or the fact that the state would not actively pursue child support in Bub’s case citing safety reasons that stemmed from his paternal grandmother for the longest time until those safety issues had to shift to his father and his paternal grandparents. As stated, I may address those… issues in a password-protected post.

It still boggles me that I can’t, at least, easily get a PageRank of one just by writing here as much as I do.

01
Jun
2021

Has the day finally come here? Has it?

categories: personal; word count: 273 words

Now that I have been on three different antibiotics, the Staph wound on my leg (well, legs… but only one of them is a major problem, as it’s been much larger than the other) is finally, finally beginning to heal. However, as it heals, a lot of scar tissue is being laid down, which is nowhere near the most comfortable feeling in the world… and there’s the fact that it was deep enough to infiltrate the dermis, which means that nerves in the skin have to grow back. That is nowhere near the most comfortable feeling in the world, either.

So far, I’ve been managing this pain with codeine that my pain management clinic has been prescribing me, but it’s hit and miss as to whether or not it works effectively. Sometimes it does, sometimes it… doesn’t. (And apparently some people can be “low-responders” to codeine and morphine, which I suspect that I am and will be.) When I see them again next week, I’m going to ask if they can put me on something like Tramadol to see if that works better. I don’t need “the big guns” to deal with this as much as I just need something that consistently works to ameliorate pain when I’m doing dressing changes, bathing, or just because. Aspirin and Ibuprofen don’t cut it, and they almost always aggravate my asthma, so even those alternated at max doses are not a viable option. I would be nebulizing most of the day or back on prednisone, and, well…

Prednisone caused this, and I think I need to try to stay off of prednisone for the long haul.

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