Posts Tagged ‘life’

My history with depression to diagnosis.

To delineate before I get further into this, I did not experience postpartum depression with either pregnancy.

It can be safe to say that my body did not, and does not, like even the idea of being pregnant… and although I would not trade either of my sons for the world, my body’s abhorrence at pregnancy goes beyond the normal difficulties that someone who is or can get pregnant might face. In my case, depression was more subtle and did manage to sneak up on me before I knew for a fact that it was actually depression. After my youngest son’s birth, I found myself participating less in activities that I normally would, such as hobbies and interests. This was even when I could do so or would have had the time to do so. I kept making excuses about how busy I was, having two young children and all, but my difficulty engaging in these hobbies and interests even after both boys had gone to bed for the night continued to grow in intensity until I was nearly always making excuses not to do the things that I formerly enjoyed and had quite a long history of liking.

This was the primary symptom for me, as well as not really having any “high moods” to speak of.

When my old neurologist put me on 20mg nortryptline to see if that would help with my migraines, it had a positive effect on my anxiety levels and my mood. I made an appointment to be seen by my primary care physician to discuss this with him and have him rave him raise the dose, which he did to 50mg and then at my request to 100mg. I will actually be trying the 100mg the next time I can fill for this med. Taking this medication, I’ve been less anxious, and my moods have generally been markedly more positive than they were rather than “flat”. In addition, I have been able to sleep better than I was. I’ve also begun to want to resume participation in hobbies and interests of mine, particularly once the kids are in bed for the night and I can have some “me time”. I don’t see a problem with depression or being candid about it, and I do wish that there weren’t this stigma around mood disorders or accessing care for them. In the United States alone, it’s still an extremely bad thing in certain circles (“you can just tough it out, you should just tough it out”, so on).

Well, that didn’t work out quite as intended…

Apparently suddenly going “no poo” (no shampoo) was too much for my hair all at once, so now I am attempting to come to the same end by washing my hair with it less and less frequently. I’ve read that this can be helpful for individuals who produce a lot of oil or sebum on their scalp, and it would seem that I am one of those people when I suddenly stop washing my hair with shampoo. I still have the same end goal.

In my spare time, though, I’ve been playing Among Us. As it turns out, I am a great crewmate because I’ve memorized the map that I play the most on and can easily run in a circle around the map completing the tasks that I am assigned. And I wouldn’t say that I was the worst Impostor in the world although I know that there is definitely room for improvement. So far, in the games where I have been an Impostor and there is more than one, my fellow Impostor gets voted out fairly early in the game and I’m stuck trying to isolate players to kill them all on my own. All things considered though, it is a catchy game and I like it a whole lot.

Bub also likes playing it with me a lot of the time although I’m the “hands on deck”, which is a plus.

They can’t be bothered by commoners.

In news that should surprise no one at this point, I have not heard back anything from Twitter about the suspension of my account that occurred just before Halloween. They sent me one automated e-mail asking me if I wanted to continue to pursue the appeal, and I indicated that I did. Aside from that, I have heard absolutely nothing from them, and that account has not been reinstated. I’ve talked about it to friends who have had that happen to them as well. Some of them have actually gotten responses back from Twitter claiming to uphold the suspension, and other friends of mine haven’t even gotten the dignity of Twitter responding to them regarding the appeal. They just ignore it and never answer it. That said, I can see why people circumvent what are unfair suspensions, especially when Twitter themselves can’t be bothered to respond to the appeal that the account owner initiated. Friends of mine who have done this have used a different e-mail address to sign up for a new account, and they definitely use a different phone number since it seems like Twitter tracks suspensions by the phone number that is on file with the account. If Twitter wouldn’t suspend users over the most arcane, barbaric reasons, and if they could actually be bothered to respond to account suspension appeals from their castle in the sky, people wouldn’t actually have to do this.

It does stand as proof that if you engage in any form of leftist advocacy, social networking sites punish that.

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