It’s been… I don’t even know how many weeks at this point since I quit the Discord “reunion” servers that I was invited to, the ones with people that I had grown up with, and I continue to be happy that no attempts have been made to invite me back to already existing servers or new ones (matters might have been helped out by the fact that I deleted people from my friends’ list on Discord, making it more difficult to contact me, having done so for this reason). But I continue not to miss being in any of them, and I can’t realistically see myself wanting to join them again for any reason. This doesn’t seem like something that’s going to change, even though I’ve heard it said in situations like these — and when it comes to fandoms — that you “can’t leave” groups like these. And then, when I don’t want to be a part of these groups any longer, I do, and some people are actually surprised that I’ve done it, committed to it, and doubled down on it. (But why? Seriously?)
And like I’ve said, I’ve done it with fandoms as well, although for slightly different reasons (although my willingness to commit not to participate in fandom activities as they are more or less known to be is the same, and is something that I am continuing to be willing to commit to). I dislike the whole “you can never leave fandom once you join it” phrase that is almost a catchphrase at this point, seeing it more like a jeer than anything else, and I really dislike the expectation that you have to agree with “your people” on all issues 100% of the time or you are Not Doing It Good Enough and Should Be Blocked — for instance, I’m still not watching The Winchesters (the prequel to Supernatural), simply because it doesn’t address anything that I’m particularly interested in watching a television show about. I’m not jeering at or making fun of the people who are interested in watching it, though. It’s just… not my thing, although if I wind up tuning in at a later date I wind up tuning in at a later date. I’ve also fallen out of the habit of reading fanfiction at this point, simply because my time has become occupied by other things and the only times I’ve actually taken the time to think about it have been times when I’ve noticed that I just haven’t read it in a really long time. Truth be told, when I had to reload our gaming PC I didn’t even log back into Archive Of Our Own, and it’s been almost a year since I have. It’s not out of malice or anything, either. I just want to spend my time doing other things and there is only so much time in a day, and I burn out if I have to talk about things for hours, days, weeks, or months on end. I need to be able to walk away from them under even the best of circumstances.
