People have continued to try and invite me to Discord servers that I want no part of.

Look, I don’t want to hear about how I “need” to sue the automobile insurance of the driver that struck and killed my oldest son’s father “for that $25,000, because it would really help (you)”. It’s already been established that this was a complete, and completely screwed up, accident on the fault of the driver… who remained on scene and gave law enforcement answers to all of their questions and as much detail on the matter as he possibly could, even though some of it was incriminating (admitting to speeding and doing two illegal right-hand passes). And even if I wanted to pursue that windfall, it would disrupt benefits and services that my family needs and will continue to need for the foreseeable future no matter what you say or how much benefit or tax fraud you think is “acceptable” to commit. I pride myself on adhering to benefit and tax law with the utmost of strictness, and only grew up “with these people” in the strictest sense of the word because my mother was content to fob me off onto the Internet so she didn’t have to deal with me or interact with me — I was her meal ticket and knew that by the age of six, which coincided with her first attempts to fob me off onto the Internet. America Online, to be precise. My dad wanted there to be limitations in my Internet usage (such as time spent on it and the fact that I could not call or visit anyone “from the Internet” for as long as I was a minor, the last two he got his wish on, and the very last one still in effect because no one who isn’t a content creator who can prove as such “from the Internet” is allowed on the property). I didn’t want to make friends online and treated attempts at such during my adolescence accordingly, whereas I’m sure others in different circumstances had less dimmer or even much less dimmer recollections of events that both of us might have been involved in. They were content to make friends online. I just wanted a mother who wasn’t abhorrent to pay attention to me and consistently meet my needs.

My mother’s delight in fobbing me off to the Internet and her subsequent enjoyment at having it babysit me are why I limit my kids’ consumption of the Internet like I do. They are not allowed to have social media accounts of their own and they are not allowed to chat (or Zoom) with anyone who isn’t a real-life friend, family member, or member of our homeschool co-op. I don’t want them to grow up like I had to grow up.

People have legitimately been telling me that I should tell my oldest son to forget his father and that I shouldn’t have any mementos made so that he can remember his father (or, more to the point, having one). This has caused me to cut people out of my life, which I don’t mind one bit, who I won’t be allowing back into my life for any reason. These are the very same people who have practically been shouting at me that I should sue the driver of the car that struck my son’s father, caring more about “that $25,000 (sic)” than the fact that this man was genuinely remorseful that his actions caused another person to die, let alone the fact that my son might actually want something to keep his father close by. The fact that these people care more about money than the emotional states of my son or me has been horrifying, although I expect nothing less from the people I grew up with who have repeatedly continued to invite me to their Discord servers (“but it’ll be different this time! there won’t be [any] drama [this time], I promise!”) in spite of the fact that I have made it as clear as I can that I don’t want to be invited to these servers or contacted by these people. Maybe they’ll get it this time, although I wouldn’t hold my breath on the matter. It’s like these people legitimately haven’t grown up at all, and I’m not interested in living through the adolescence that I spent on America Online over again if you know what I mean. I could write a whole post about how that was not a… fun experience for me, or vlog about it, and I think I will sometime soon. Both, in fact. But seriously, I’d like to get off of the ride now.